Sunday, January 28, 2007

Playing Catch Up...

No, not "ketchup", ya bone-heads...

Anyway, miscellaneous news, notes, and comments, gathered from the furthest reaches of the Internets, the "tubes", and the Googles...

I. Return of "The Decider"

george w. bush has apparently opted to reprise his boffo performance as "The Decider". Declaring himself "the decision-maker" on Friday, he challenged doubters of his "practicing escalatio" (as Tom Lehrer put it once) on the Iraqis to come up with their own ideas to win the war. Two small problems with that, though: (1) the war isn't winnable by any reasonably acceptable means (yeah, we could nuke Iraq and declare victory, but that wouldn't go over so well, would it?), and (2) bush would just ignore whatever plans were submitted. Citing the little voices in his head, bush claimed, "I've picked the plan that I think it most likely to succeed." No mention of how this surge is going to work any better than the previous surges, except that he apparently has decided that this one just plain really has to work, because he decided it would.

II. Two Sentenced in Fatal Fire at Seton Hall

Two idiots who started a fire in a Seton Hall University dorm lounge -- a fire that killed three students -- were sentenced to five years each.

"I want you to know I am very, very sorry for your losses," Sean "Biff" Ryan said. "I hope you can move on."

Why do I get the feeling that Biff was thinking to himself, "You'd better move on, cause I sure as hell have"?

Ryan and his playmate Joseph LePore pleaded guilty to arson and witness tampering.

Their lawyers claimed the insanely-reduced sentences were "appropriate" because the school did not have "adequate systems to keep the blaze from spreading."

To summarize:
  • The dormitory, built in 1952, met the fire codes as they existed at the time of construction (sprinklers were not required)
  • Seton hall did not retrofit the building with sprinklers (probably due to the cost, and engineering concerns)
  • LePore and Ryan start a fire in an occupied college dormitory
  • Three people die, NOT because these two assholes played with fire, but because the university couldn't foresee that these two assholes would play with fire.

In other words:

"It's not my fault!"

III. Update From the war on Terra

A leading Olympic security expert believes it is "just a matter of time" before terrorists target a major sports event like the Olympics.

Hello? Munich? 1972?

IV. Crocodile Hunter, meet the Nigerian 419 Scam

There's an email circulating through the tubes that claims to be from Terri Irwin, widow of "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin. The message claims a US bank has $11 million in family funds, and that "the bank is planning to use the money for nuclear weapons." For helping her get the money out of the US, "Terri" will give you 40% of the money.

Yeah, right.

Who would be stooo-pid enough to fall for that?


No comments:

Post a Comment