Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Fat-ass LePage Chronicles, Part I

I have a feeling I'm going to be doing a lot of writing -- a whole, big, pee-pot-full of writing -- about Fat-as Paul LePage, so I figured I might as well create a tag for it now.

Fat-ass Paul LePage and the Environment

Fat-ass Paul LePage proves once again that he is every bit as venal, corrupt, incompetent, and uncaring as his intellectual hero, gee-dubya bush.

In his latest push to make Maine friendlier to business (and screw the little guy), he now wants to "relax" dozens of environmental rules:

  • He wants to repeal rules requiring that manufacturers take back recyclable goods: "Every nickel deposit business doesn't hafta pay to some damn consumer is another nickel that can go to executive compensation, stockholder dividends, and my campaign."
  • He wants to open 10 million acres of northern Maine to commercial development: "Every new business we can bring to Maine will generate executive compensation, stockholder dividends, and contributions to my campaign."
  • He wants to reverse a ban on a chemical in children's products that has been linked to cancer: "Why worry about kids? They can't vote for me, nor can they increase executive compensation, stockholder dividends, or contributions to my campaign."
  • He wants to make Maine's environmental laws conform to less-stringent Federal laws (eventually, he'd like them to conform to the environmental laws in Mississippi, Alabama, Nigeria, Sudan, and China): "Who needs clean air and clean water?"
Of course, the environmentalists are up in arms, but it's not like fat-ass LePage kept his big-business-fellating ideas secret, for God's sake.  Since Day One of his campaign, he has been talking about making Maine look like other business-friendly communities, like Camden, New Jersey; Gary, Indiana; Detroit, Michigan; and Bangalore, India.

Fat-ass Paul Lepage and Common Courtesy

One of the folks here in town asked me why I always refer to Fat-ass Paul LePage as "Fat-ass Paul LePage." 

"Why don't you show him the respect he is due as Governor of the State of Maine?"

Two reasons:

"Go to Hell" and "Kiss my butt." 

In the "kiss my butt" fiasco, he mentioned his "son" Devon Raymond.  Of course, as a rethuglican teabaggin lyin sack-o-turd, Fat-ass LePage is still not telling the truth.  Raymond was not adopted by the Fat-ass LePage family (hell, he probably isn't even in this country legally).  Raymond's daddy caddied for Fat-ass when Fat-ass was on vacation a few years back.

So I'll show Fat-ass LePage some common courtesy when he does the same for others.

I'm not holding my breath, though.

More on Fat-ass Paul LePage and his assault on common courtesy here.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Fat-Ass LePage Kisses Booty.

Fat-ass Paul LePage is at the MLK breakfast in Waterville today.

This is less than a week after he told the black community to "kiss my butt."

He initially said he wasn't going because he was going to a funeral.  Guess Fat-ass realized the funeral would be his political funeral.

Looks like he's the one who wound up kissing butt.

And the blacks should still ignore the LaKermesse-Cheese-Eating-Surrender-Monkey-Collaboration Festival.

Teabaggin' @ssholes... holding fast to their principles... until they're not.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

"I Just Don't Care..."

Fat-ass Paul LePage on MPBN:
"Past governors have done what they've done and look at the shape we're in," he says. "I was elected governor to fix the problems and I'm not one that likes the fancy stuff, so take their tradtion and get somebody else to do it. I just don't care about that stuff. I'm there to do a job. I mean, they're just playing silly games I don't have time for."

Unspoken additional: yeah, do they expect me to give a rat's ass about anybody that isn't a teabagger?  I mean, I'm like, you hafta be white conservative rethuglican to mean anything to me, and you guys, like, you're black, for god's sake.

Yup, fat-ass, you're here to do a job.  Unfortunately, the job you think you were elected for -- gutting environmental regulations, eliminating taxes on the wealthy, providing sinecures for your fat-assed family, and just generally being a teabaggin butthole -- is not the job the people of Maine eleccted you for.  And even more unfortunately, the people of Maine aren't going to realize that until you've screwed them seventeen ways from Sunday.

Bringin' Class Back to Politics...

...one loud-mouthed @sshole at a time...

Maine's new governor, the fat-assed Paul LePage, has now pissed off the African-American portion of the population, by telling them to "kiss my butt" when he was asked why he declined to attend several MLK day events.  LePage probably also said -- or at least thought -- "I don't hafta go cuz I'm the governor, so neener neener neener, kiss my quivering, cottage-cheese, Limbaugh-like cellutlite."

Hae also said people should talk to Devon Richard, a black Jamaican "he brought into his home at age 17."  Guy's probably his fat-assed daughter's pokin pal.  Not that anyone would want to poke her lard-assed butt.  Wonder what Devon thinks about ol' Paul dissing the blacks twice in a row (telling Obama to "go to hell" and this little escapade)?

One small problem, though:
LePage often refers to 25-year-old Devon Raymond of Jamaica as his "adopted son." And although the governor and his wife are putting Raymond through college, and Raymond has attended LePage family gatherings with the LePage's other children on a regular basis since the age of 17, Raymond has not been formally adopted. He is also not a U.S. citizen.

[NOTE: MPBN -- Maine Public Broadcasting Network -- shows Devon's last name as Raymond, but most other media outlets say it's Richard.]

Given how much teabaggin rethuglicans hate ever'body who ain't 110% white, God-fearin', Bible-thumpin', hooker-humpin', sister-marryin', rifle-rack-in-the-pickmup Murrican, how can fat-ass LePage justify this? Oh, yeah, I forgot: IOKIYAR.

Since fat-ass LePage also issued -- already -- an executive order allowing (or perhaps requiring) state officials to ask about immigration status, it'll be interesting to see how he reacts when Devon gets jacked up by the Augusta cops for being a non-citizen taking advantage of the benefits of citizenship... like driving, working, breathing, and simply living..

Yeah, he's one class act.  But what do you expect from someone who worked for a bunch that makes Sanford and Sons look like Hammacher-Schlemmer?

Given the fact that LePage is a teabagging ultraconservative ugly-as-homemade-sin dickwad with more chins than a Chinese phonebook, it makes me wonder if he shares the conservative disdain for the French.  Does he hate himself as a "cheese-eating surrender monkey"?

And maybe the black community should tell fat-ass Lepage to kiss their collective butt at this year's La Kermesse Franco-American Cultural Heritage Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey Collaboration Festival.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

It's Started Already

I have already received two comments with death threats, obviously from the peace-loving teabaggers of the far right.

I have enabled comment moderation, in that I don't particularly want to subject you to the vile hatred I just received.

If you absolutely must know what the teabaggers and other far-right whackjobs consider civilized discourse, go read the latest "hate mail" post at The Great Orange Satan.

And as for the cowardly little teabaggers who threaten from obviously fake gmail and hotmail accounts...

Screw you. If you don't even have the courage to use your real email address -- which is probably something like cheetoh-stained_underpants@mymommysbasement.net --you're not gonna impress with your "ballsiness", you dickless wonders.

More on Arizona Shootings

[Edited to mark second and third paragraphs from end -- "During the campaign effort" and "I don't see the connection" -- as quotes, which they are.]

From an AP update...

Jared Loughner, identified (unofficially) as the shooter, allegedly posted this on a YouTube video:

"I know who's listening: Government Officials, and the People," Loughner wrote. "Nearly all the people, who don't know this accurate information of a new currency, aren't aware of mind control and brainwash methods. If I have my civil rights, then this message wouldn't have happen (sic)."
That sounds an awful lot like the arguments used by the sovereign citizen/redemptionist/militia crowd (check the labels for other related pieces).

Other examples of the peace-lovin’ teabaggers:
  • A San Francisco man upset with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's support of health care reform pleaded guilty to threatening the Democratic congresswoman and her family, calling her directly on March 25 and threatening to destroy her Northern California home if she voted for health care reform.
  • In July, a California man known for his anger over left-leaning politics engaged in a shootout with highway patrol officers after planning an attack on the ACLU and another nonprofit group. The man said he wanted to "start a revolution" by killing people at the ACLU and the Tides Foundation.

Giffords’ opponent:

During the his campaign effort to unseat Giffords in November, Republican challenger Jesse Kelly held fundraisers where he urged supporters to help remove Giffords from office by joining him to shoot a fully loaded M-16 rifle. Kelly is a former Marine who served in Iraq and was pictured on his website in military gear holding his automatic weapon and promoting the event.

"I don't see the connection," between the fundraisers featuring weapons and Saturday's shooting, said John Ellinwood, Kelly's spokesman. "I don't know this person, we cannot find any records that he was associated with the campaign in any way. I just don't see the connection."

Johnny, if you can't "see the connection" between the violence preached by your candidate, and this shooting, your eyes are worse than Stevie Wonder's.

Shooting in Arizona

I had been planning on posting one of my usual arrogant diatribes against the teabaggers (as personified by the new governor of the State of Maine, Paul LePage, a typical fat-assed, ugly-as-homemade-sin rethuglican twit with more chins than a Chinese phone book), but that got pre-empted by this morning's shooting in Tuscon, Arizona, of US Representative Gabrielle Giffords, a Democrat (well, former rethuglican, now blue-dog Democrat).

As things stand now (5:00 PM Eastern), it looks like 6 dead, including a Federal judge and a 9-year-old girl, and another 12 -- including Giffords -- wounded.

CNN is reporting a 22-year-old is in custody for the shooting.

According to CNN:
She won her third term in a closely contested race against a Tea Party-sponsored candidate and was one of three Democratic legislators who reported vandalism at
their offices following the March vote on health care reform.

The jackwad in custody will probably be some teabagger gun nut who’s pissed because some mere woman beat a good teabaggin male.

This fruit will probably rejoice at the judge's death, cause the teabag sovereign citizen crowd doesn't like judges, especially Federal judges, who say Hispanics and Muslims in this country have the same rights as the white, God-fearin', brown-person-hatin', KKK-robe-wearin', hooker-humpin', sister-marryin', rifle-rack-in-the-pickmup cracker redneck morons.

Guess what, you teabag MO-rons. This is one of YOUR people who did this. You own this. This is what you are promoting as acceptable discourse. This is what Beck and Malkin and Coulter and Limbaugh all stand for. This is what Boner and Lepage and Bachmann and all the rest of the teabaggers support. You demand action, violent action. You say "the tree of liberty must be watered with blood."

You can't turn around now and say "well, I was only kidding."

Teabaggers are murderers. They murder children.


Bet you're proud of yourselves now, right, @ssholes?