"Rand Paul is a f*****g idiot," says Delaware Gov. Jack Markell, whose tiny state sits astride a hurricane zone. "The federal government, by pooling resources and exploiting economies of scale, can do disaster relief more efficiently the individual states alone.
"If this arrogant douchebag got his head out of Ayn Rand's ass long enough to see two feet in front of him, maybe he'd understand how important this work is."This was the tail end of a story about ole Rand going off on one of his favorite hobby horses, the evil FEMA.
"I suppose people need help in times like these. And if individual states want to set up disaster relief agencies, that's fine. But why should taxpayers in other states be forced to pay? Kentucky doesn't have earthquakes. Kentucky doesn't have hurricanes. Kentucky doesn't have tornadoes, I don't think. So why are we footing the bill for this stuff?"
Of course, Rand isn't the only one bemoaning the fact the FEMA helps the poor as well as the rich:
Republicans have long had an interest in disbanding FEMA, an agency that most Americans believe fulfills a necessary role of government. Presidential nominee Mitt Romney famously said he wanted to "eliminate" the agency before reversing himself following a public furor.
But, alas, it's from the Daily Currant.*
Now, why would I wish something like this were true? Because think of the good times we could have jumping on poor dumb ol' Rand (and who names his kid Rand, for that matter?)
Not to mention the fact that SOMEONE needs to use "Markell's" words... only for real.
*Note to WND, Limpdick, and company: The Daily Currant is a satire site.**
** That means it's not real, it's made up.***
*** Like your "mandates."