OMFG... Part III

Infectious disease trading cards. Three sets of them.

"Hey, Bobby, I'll trade you my Hantavirus and Anthrax for your Ebola..."

From the CDC.

(Via William the Coroner)

Follow-up to "A Real Hero"

A couple of days ago, I told you about Alex Whitehouse, a Webelos Cub Scout in Turner, Maine. 10 year old Alex saved the life of his younger brother, Drake, when Drake began choking on a piece of candy.

Susan Kimball, of WCSH-TV, Channel 6 in Portland, covered the story today on the noon newscast (yes, I scooped the network affiliate!). Kimball mentioned that, prior to this incident, Alex had been selected to represent Maine at the People To People youth conference in England, and that the townsfolk were sponsoring a spaghetti dinner to raise the $7,000 needed.

I spoke with Ms. Kimball this afternoon, regarding an address for donations from people who can't attend the dinner. If you would like to make a donation to help this young hero get to England, please make your check payable to People To People, and write "Alex Whitehouse" on the memo line. Checks may be sent to this address:

Alex Whitehouse
c/o Claire Bailey
171 Birch Drive
Poland, Maine 04274

I know the economy is tough these days -- I've been unemployed for more than a year -- but I'm sending $10.00.

Other than begging for the Red Cross back during Hurricane Katrina (at the urging of Skippy the Bush Kangaroo and -- talk about strange bedfellows -- InstaPundit's Glenn Reynolds), I haven't asked readers to part with their hard-earned money.

But now I am asking. Even if it's just a few bucks, could you please contribute and help Alex travel to England?

Many sincere thanks.

Discosure: I am not related to, nor have I ever met, Alex, although I would like to. I am not affiliated in any way with People To People. I have NO connection to any of the people mentioned, other than having spoken to Susan Kimball about donations.

Maine Voters Veto Same-Sex Marriage

By a 53-47 margin, Maine voters vetoed the same-sex marriage law. It is was tough, nasty campaign.

Protect Maine Equality, which supported SSM and opposed the veto move, based their campaign on facts, figures, legal opinions, human rights, and common decency. Stand For Marriage Maine [no link to homophobic fear-mongering idiots], which supported the veto and opposed the law, bravely countered with fear, innuendo, lies, and loathing.

SFFM aired many commercials pointing out that "gay marriage would be taught in Maine schools." State education officials pointed out that local school boards set local curricula, and already have the option to teach about gay issues if they so desire (none have done so). SFFM also claimed that support for the SSM law came from 40 states, implying that it was people "from away," those who "support the gay agenda," who were telling Mainers how to vote. Yet at the same time, SFMM was desperately fighting to keep its donor list secret. A cynic would think that was because the SFMM list would show a vast majority of their support came from outside Maine.

By enacting this citizen's veto, Maine legally relegated a substantial portion of the population to second-class citizenship status. These neo-con "morans" have effectively proven that the old adage, "As Maine goes, so goes the nation" is no longer a beacon of hope, but a harbinger of terror. Now that the mouth-breathers have forced "them damned queers" back into the closet, what's next in their quest for a 16th-century Christianist theocracy? Get rid of other "undesirables" like mixed-race couples, "moozlims", Jews, "nigras", Catholics, and -- eventually -- "libruls"?

Opponents of same-sex marriage sent out a broadcast fax several weeks ago, that I discussed here. It is a prime example of the way the far right amps up their base.

By appealing to the basest instincts of the Bible-thumpin', hooker-humpin', sister-marryin', rifle-rack-in-the-pickmup crowd, these homophobic idiots have once again gotten the "Ah have more toes than teeth... and I stuck mah foot under the mower" single-digit-IQ twits to do their bidding.

On a related matter, it might be time to re-examine the tax-exempt status of the Catholic Diocese of Maine. As a tax-exempt church, the diocese is barred from active participation in partisan politics. Yet the Portland Press-Herald, in its front-page coverage of the vote, ran a large picture of the official spokesman of the diocese, at the campaign headquarters of the SFMM, saying "we fought the good fight" [emphasis added]. That is particularly galling, in that the Catholic Church is setting itself up as a "moral arbiter" [THERE's a laugh], yet tacitly condones and actively protects HOMOSEXUAL PEDOPHILE SERIAL-RAPISTS in the priesthood, and demands bishops conceal these crimes.

If a same-sex relationship between two consenting adults is a sin, why is it okay for Father Flannigan to keep raping little boys?!?

If the Catholic Church is going to function as a political action committee, it should lose its tax-exempt status.

A REAL Hero.

10 year old Alex Whitehouse is a real hero.

Let me say that again:

10 year old Alex Whitehouse is a real hero.

This past Thursday, Whitehouse saved the life of his 4 year old brother, Drake Gibbert, after the youngster began choking on a Tootsie Roll. Drake was bouncing on Alex's bed when the candy lodged in his throat.

As part of his Cub Scout training, Whitehouse learned how to perform the Heimlich maneuver last year. Alex grabbed Drake, wrapped his arms around his brother and squeezed.

Article in the Lewiston (Maine) Sun-Journal is here.

Right-Wing HATE Comes Back to Maine... Again.

Yesterday, the lovely yet talented Mrs 618 showed me a broadcast fax that had been received at her office. It's from some batch of far-right-wing whackjobs out in Draper, UT, calling themselves "America Forever," and is chockablock full of the hate-filled, spurious accusations we've come to expect from wingnuttia. Capitalization and emphasis from the original.

The looney diatribe starts "You! Citizen of Maine who VOTED IN Senators Olympia Snowe & Susan Collins YOU WILL BE AS RESPONSIBLE AS THEY ARE FOR BRINGING DOWN THIS NATION INTO DESTRUCTION!" That almost sounds like a threat, not only against Collins and Snowe, but against the thinking people of Maine.

It continues, "The day that America socially recognizes, validates, and condones the stimulation of homosexuality to the children; GOD WILL REMOVE HIS HAND FROM THIS NATION." Oh, goody. The sooner the "Christianists" get the hell out of here, the better off we'll all be.

The hysterical screed goes on to claim that Snowe and Collins are "now part of President Obama's team, that continues to use the 20 year homosexual "power wheel" [whatever the hell that is; I couldn't find anything on "teh Google"] to bring down this nation as a nation under God" and that he would "give all rights to homosexuals." [Of course, under the photograph in the center of the fax, it says, "This is not about HATE or CIVIL RIGHTS."]

Some other gems from this paranoid, delusional piece of crap:

• Both Senators have a "100% voting record with the homosexual agenda and [co-sponsor] their major legislation"
• "HATE CRIMES LAW is the Back door to advance the entire homosexual agenda"
• "[...] the URGENCY of HEALTHCARE REFORM is also about the homosexual, transgender, bisexual, and lesbian movement."
• "Moreover, they [apparently referring to Snowe and Collins, or perhaps to thinking people as a whole] are intolerant and do not emulate any Christian Ethics"
• The photo in the middle of the page shows a big black guy kissing a white guy... no racist feeling there, right?

The fax also urges readers -- in bold type -- to "check out the OBAMA KILLER SONG"

This piece of putrid trash ranks up there with the "manifestos" of various fringe-group terrorist cells, rife with all the delusional, paranoid, "black FEMA helicopter" garbage that passes for discourse with these idiots.

Jesus, what a hideous, hate-mongering message. And these assholes, these neo-Nazi/KKK thugs, these Bible-thumpin', hooker-humpin', sister-marryin', rifle-rack-in-the-pickmup slack-jawed drooling IDIOTS, dare to profess their "Christianity"?!?

How DARE they? Have any of these asshats realized that there is more to their precious Bible than the Old Testament? Have they completely overlooked the REAL message of Jesus, which is love and peace?

On the other hand, something good came of this execrable fax... many of the people in the town supported the "people's veto" of the state law recognizing gay marriage... but after this fax made its way around, they are now saying "where do these folks from away get off telling us how to vote? They're telling us how to be good Christians? Screw 'em, if this is the way they're gonna be, I'm going to vote against the veto!"

These frickin' "morans" need to go the hell away.

Since they seem to be in favor of stifling free speech, let's stifle theirs.

Hey, "America Forever"... SCREW YOU!

Republican Family Values: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Senator John Ensign (R-NV) has been in the news a lot lately. He is, of course, one of those "family values" Republicans... the kind that violates his deeply-held Biblical principles by fornicating with a woman to whom he is not married, and not to propagate the species, but simply because it's fun. In a half-assed attempt to atone for his egregious sin, Ensign used his political influence to find a job for the husband of his girlfriend, and to line up clients for the aforementioned husband of the aforementioned girlfriend of the aforementioned "family values" Republican.

In doing so, Ensign has joined the ranks of other "family values" Republican fornicators like Gov Mark Sanford (R-SC) who was cheating on his wife by boffing some babe in Buenos Aires; he is now also asking the SC Supreme Court to block the release of a state ethics report on his behavior, claiming it would be used for political purposes. He also lied to his constituents, but to a "family values" Republican, that's merely business as usual.

Another "family values" Republican lecher is Vito Fossella, who got bagged for drunk driving. He was on his way to visit his illegitimate daughter by the woman with whom he was committing adultery.

Ted Alvin Klaudt, a former state representative from South Dakota -- "family values" Republican, of course -- was charged with eight counts of second-degree rape, two counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, two counts of witness tampering, one count of sexual contact with a person under 16, and one count of stalking.

And of course, who could forget Mark Foley, disgraced former representative from Florida, who was hitting on underage pages?

In looking back through my previous posts on this never-ending topic, I found this link to ArmchairSubversive, which has a list of 82 instances of Republican pedophilia. And that's just child molesting (or child rape). There probably isn't enough room in the whole damn Internet for all the moral lapses by the "family values" Republicans.

My Take on Healthcare Reform

Like many others, I listened to President Obama's speech last night. And, I hope, like many others, I was disgusted when South Carolina Representative Addison Graves "Joe" Wilson III -- a member of the "Sons of Confederate Veterans" -- shouted out "You lie" when Obama said his plan would not provide insurance to illegal aliens. But this is exactly the behavior we have come to expect from the GOP: completely obstreperous, completely devoid of logic, and completely lacking in sympathy for those less well-off than they. It was, after all, Representative Zach Wamp (R-TN, of course) who said, "Health care is a privilege... it's not necessarily a right." I wonder how Zach Wamp (what a perfect name for a redneck) would feel if his Congressional (i.e., taxpayer-paid) healthcare were suddenly eliminated.

BadTux has written extensively about the healthcare crisis, both the economic factors involved and the political implications. For a snarky penguin, he has a remarkable grasp of all the variables involved, and -- more importantly -- can impart them without sounding pedantic or condescending. I don't plan on duplicating his efforts; I don't have the knowledge he has, nor do I have his flair. I will instead give you my take on this mess.

I'm unemployed, and I have been for more than a year. Yes, some of it is my fault: my profession is safety and security, and a state as safe and secure as Maine has little need for safety and security professionals. Those facilities that do have such a need are (a) a two- or three-hour drive away, (b) Defense Department facilities (Portsmouth Naval Shipyard, Brunswick Naval Air Station [which is closing next year anyway], or Bath Iron Works), or (c) correctional facilities.

I did not move to Maine simply because I got tired of a reasonably good job, with reasonably good benefits, I moved because my parents are in their 80s and can no longer care for themselves.

I found a job for a while, but the contract ended unexpectedly, and I was laid off. I had not worked enough quarters in Maine to qualify for unemployment, and of course Michigan's unemployment wouldn't pay me in Maine. I was fortunate in that my wife and I had housing, and that she works part-time, so we had food and lights and all those other neat things.

But, I didn't have medical insurance. And Mrs 618's part-time job paid just enough to make us ineligible for MaineCare, the state version of Medicare/Medicaid. So, of course, I had to tear up my back and pinch my sciatic nerve* working around the house. No medical insurance meant no visit to the doctor until I couldn't bear the pain any longer. None of the few local doctors are accepting new patients, so Mrs 618 hauled me off to the local ER, where the doctor gave me a couple of prescriptions (I was just barely able to scrape up the money for two, the other two had to wait), and instructions for physical therapy. PT here runs about $300 an hour, more money that we don't have, so that had to wait.

Guess what? I'm not getting any better. I'm still in excruciating pain (since I ran out of pain-killers), I still can't walk, I still can't find a job... and now I can't even keep up with the chores around the house. Oh, and I explained to the hospital that I would need to make payments arrangements; when they heard my situation, we agreed on $20 per week (which means about 100 weeks of payments; meanwhile, other patients' payments are taking up the slack).

Do we need a "public option", the one the Republicans are screaming about?

Hell, yes.



*If you have never dealt with sciatica, consider yourself blessed. If you have, you know just how wonderful it feels....

Spinning in Their Graves

Some of the greatest comedic geniuses are probably spinning in their graves.

Conan "My Parents Should Have Snapped My Neck at Birth" O'Brien is taking over The Tonight Show. Given O'Brien's overwhelming inanity, his complete lack of comic sense, and his overall stupidity, it's just a matter of time until The Tonight Show is dead and gone.

The original host of what would become Tonight was Steve Allen (1921-2000), a gifted comedian, writer, composer, and actor who has been credited with developing much of what defines modern variety shows. Allen hosted the show from it's 1954 debut until 1957, assisted by sidekick Gene Rayburn (who, in turn, went on to host numerous other shows, such as Match Game). Allen pioneered the "main in the street interview," still a staple of late-night television.

One of Allen's guest hosts was a little-known comedian named Johnny Carson.

In 1956, NBC offered Allen a chance to do a weekend show as well. He remained as host of Tonight Wednesdays through Fridays, with comedian Ernie Kovacs taking the Tonight reins on Mondays and Tuesdays. Kovacs, who died in 1962, was an innovator in television comedy; one of his greatest "inventions" was the Nairobi Trio - three gorillas in derby hats and long overcoats. The trio's extraordinary rendition of Solfeggio is a classic.

In January of 1957, Allen left the show permanently and NBC dropped Kovacs' participation, changing Tonight to a news-magazine format, which only lasted six months.

After the ill-fated news format, Tonight returned as a variety show with Al "Jazzbo" Collins as host for a month or so. Collins was a well-known jazz DJ who did stints on New York's WNEW radio from 1950-1960, 1981-1983, and again from 1986-1990 (when I used to listen all night, every night, working the graveyard shift on the PD). Collins' version of "Little Red Riding Hood" (adapted by Steve Allen) is well worth a listen.

Jack Paar took over in July of 1957, beginning a five-year stint as host. It was under Paar's stewardship that Tonight really became the entertainment phenomenon that it remains today.

Paar's guests tended to be more than just actors hucking their latest films, with folks like Peter Ustinov, Peggy Cass, and Zsa Zsa Gabor showing up regularly.

One of the (inadvertently) funniest bits ever to appear on television came in 1960, when studio censors cut a joke. Paar walked out in the middle of a broadcast, leaving announcer Hugh Downs to finish the show. A month later, Paar ambled out on stage and a famous line: "As I was saying before I was interrupted...I believe the last thing I said was 'There must be a better way to make a living than this.' Well, I've looked...and there isn't."

In March of 1962, Johnny Carson began his 30-year reign as the King of Late Night. Carson's era was not without turmoil, however: notable spats occurred with folks like guest host Joan Rivers, psychic Uri Gellar, Wayne Newton, Don Rickles, and Truman Capote. On the flip side, though, Carson also gave us some of the most enduring and iconic characters in American broadcast history, such as TV host Art Fern and Carnack the Magnificent.

Conan "My Parents Should Have Snapped My Neck at Birth" O'Brien made his name, so to speak, by writing for Saturday Night Live (during of its periodic tediously boring periods) and The Simpsons (Fox's horrendously miserable, poorly-animated fart fest). O'Brien -- whose hair bears a suspicious similarity to that of Jimmy Neutron, is -- to use a line from the late great Molly Ivins -- is about as funny as a heart attack.

Yes, there may be people who think Jimmy Neu-- err, O'Brien is a worthy successor to Allen, Kovacs, Paar, and Carson.

But I'm not one of them.

I think he's going to kill the show forever.