Sunday, September 22, 2013

Schticks of One...


...Half a dozen of the other...

 
(I've been using this tag for a few years, but didn't
see someone had posted this last year...)
 
 
Y'know, if it hadn't been for Spike Jones and Victor Borge and Allan Sherman, there might never have been a Weird Al Yankovic.



I. My Dream Job

One that I could never qualify for, but what the hell.


Tillerman on a hook and ladder (that's the guy steering the wheels on the trailer).


II. Heard Around The Barn

Senior Guy: "What kind of lights did Noah have on the Ark?"
Junior Guy: "I dunno..."
Senior Guy: "Flood lights, of course."


III. Pet Blogging

Not by me, but by Michael Morse. He's trying to raise funds for an animal rescue operation (where Cousin Wilson adopted Michael and his wife). He says he won't let Wilson into the house till he has some contributions*. I'd contribute, except I'm so broke, Tim Allen couldn't fix me. If you could go to his blog and toss a couple of bucks Wilson's way, I'd appreciate it.

And Wilson could get back on the couch.


* I don't think Michael is really refusing to let Wilson in, he's just trying to shame us.

Gimme That Old Time Music...


Back when I was a nipper, my parents took me to see a ragtime piano show by a guy named Max Morath for my 13th birthday. They had the album of the show I went to, and I just found it on YouTube. Listen to each part of the album... really good music, and wonderful showmanship. Two of my all-time favorites are "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" (Part 4) and "Where Did Robinson Crusoe Go With Friday On Saturday Night?" (Final Part).  The drinking songs in Part 3 and the "dirty" songs in Part 5 are also wonderful (and John Valby doesn't have to worry about competition from these dirty ditties).

I've been to about 30 of his shows since. And I asked him to autograph that original 1969 program each time. Poor guy would see that battered old program and pop another dozen gray hairs.

Every one of his many albums is well worth the listen.

In fact, here he is, performing Scott Joplin's immortal Maple Leaf Rag.  Hey, if Badtux can do it, so can I.

 
 
Bonus track: Ethan Uslan performing The Blue Danube as a rag.
 

 
And a BONUS bonus track ('cuz I just love me some Spike Jones):
 


I'm Glad I'm Not Jewish.


Not that there's anything wrong with being Jewish, mind you.

Back when I was a kid, I thought it would be great to be Jewish... a whole second set of holidays from school, and their version of Christmas lasted nine days. NINE days of presents!

Then one of my Jewish friends delivered the death blow as far as I was concerned: no bacon, no ham, no sausage, no pork.

The lovely yet talented Mrs618 made a pork roast tonight, with apple stuffing and baby carrots sautéed in butter and brown sugar.

Yeah, for that, I'm glad I gave up the dreidels.

Saturday, September 07, 2013

Attracting, Recruiting, and Retaining Volunteers


One of the biggest problems facing volunteer organizations today is attracting and retaining qualified volunteers. Whether its a volunteer FD or EMS agency, a local Red Cross or Salvation Army chapter, food pantry, pet shelter, whatever, the ranks of volunteers are becoming alarmingly thin. With the economy the way it is these days, those fortunate enough to have jobs often have two jobs, trying to make ends meet. The spouse will often have two jobs, as well. In addition, there is that nebulous conglomeration of housecleaning, cooking, etc, not to mention a couple of things I have heard of, called "sleep" and "having a life." The result is simply insufficient time to engage in volunteer activities.

For skilled volunteer professions like firefighting or EMS, there are ever-increasing training requirements to be met.

For example, the EMT-Basic class is now somewhere around 200 hours, plus clinical rotations and state and national Registry testing. In Maine, an EMT-Basic is also required to have a minimum of 38 hours of Continuing Education, in the following areas: Preparatory, Operations; Airway, Breathing, Circulation; Assessment; Medical; Trauma; Obstetrics, Pediatrics; Psychomotor Skills; and Further Continuing Ed (essentially, electives).

Firefighters are in an even tougher situation: most departments encourage and strive for Firefighter I and II certification, but many also require Haz-Mat Operations, EMT-Basic, commercial driver licenses, or other skills. The career fire departments -- FDNY, Boston, DC, LA -- include these topics in their 3-6 month academies. The volunteers, however, do it a couple of hours a night, a couple of evenings a week... for a couple of YEARS. Yet the public expects volunteer firefighters in Pudunk, Maine, to have the same basic skillset as FDNY (and notice I said basic skill set, not the sophisticated things like high-rise firefighting, urban search and rescue, dive team, or air operations). It is an understandable expectation, even if perhaps currently unattainable.

Volunteers are expected to attend training sessions and meetings without compensation, even if they receive nominal compensation while responding to calls. Many volunteer departments charge annual dues, require members to pay for (required) training out of their own pockets, and some even require members to purchase their own firefighting gear (which runs about $2000 per person).

What's the quick-n-easy solution? There isn't one.

Some not-so-easy solutions:
  • Eliminate volunteer fire departments and EMS and go to career departments. This would cost a bloody fortune, which most taxpayers would refuse to authorize. A full-time firefighter costs at least $100,000 per year, depending on base pay, benefits, etc. In rural areas, this would probably take the form of a county department, similar to the situation in Virginia and Maryland.
  • Eliminate most of the training requirements for volunteers agencies. This would be unacceptable from a public safety point of view. Firefighting and EMS require highly specialized skills... after all, we are literally talking life and death here. Besides, we don't mind training, we just don't want it to take over our lives, especially if it's training in skills we are not allowed to use (foolish, yes, but it happens).
  • Reevaluate training using evidence-based research, and provide government-funded stipends. There is a lot of training that continues simply because "this is the way we've always done it," regardless of the impact on patient outcome (for example, backboarding patients based solely on mechanism of injury as opposed to appropriate assessment); eliminating such outmoded protocols would allow more efficient use of training time and improve patient care. Extending existing stipends to cover training time would reimburse participants somewhat for committing their time to the community. Most stipends, by way the, are nominal at best: $15.00 per call, or $500.00 per year. Nobody will ever get rich working as a volunteer.
  • Leave things the way they are. And watch the ranks of volunteers thin even more. We need sufficient staffing and resources to do our jobs properly and safely. But even more importantly, perhaps, we need time off, too, no matter how dedicated we are, time to spend with our wives (or husbands) and children, time to have a couple of beers, time to just kick back and do nothing.
Since I got sidetracked and came back to this a couple of hours later (and since my train of thought left me on the platform), I'll come back to this topic, looking at each aspect of the problem, and -- maybe -- suggesting some possible solutions.

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Medical Product Review: BATCLIP



A number of the other medical bloggers have done product reviews, so I figured I would toss in my two cents.

A few months ago, I ran across something that fulfills all three needs.

The BatClip was developed by one of our local ED physicians, and is a great way to keep your stethoscope handy, yet out of the way. (It also looks really cool.)


It clips to your belt (either hip, it's ambidextrous) with a heavy-duty clip, and the flaps are held closed with Velcro. It's made from good solid leather, and is made here in the US. It can be used with any style scope (from the $50.00 ones the physicians and medics use, to the $300 ones the newly-minted EMT-Basics buy). For me, the best part is being able to grab it and slide it onto the belt, instead of slinging it around my neck (and having it fall off almost immediately). Plus, if you get into the habit of popping your scope back into the BatClip (which can be done one-handed with a little practice) as soon as you're done with it, you're far less likely to lose the scope.

The BatClip is available through Amazon. Dr. Li is currently running a "buy 3, get 1 free" promotion; see the "Product Details" section in the amazon posting for the discount code.

And read the reviews from other users... I'm not the only one who likes it... doctors, nurses, medics, EMT-Basics, veterinarians, anyone who needs to use a stethoscope. The biggest complaint seems to be that some folks have difficulty getting the clip off their pants. Personally, I'd rather fight to get it off at the end of a shift than have to worry about losing it.

In fact, as of today, 62 of 65 reviewers gave it either 4 or 5 stars.

I'd give it *6* if I could.

Come to think of it, this is my blog, so I can do whatever I want.

SIX STARS for the BATCLIP.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

David Marsters, Dickless Douchebag


Scroll down for update...

David Marsters of Sabattus, ME, a tea-bagging gun-nut right-wing whacko douchebag, resigned from his various town positions as a result of the backlash of his Facebook post urging someone to "shoot the n*gger," with a picture of President Obama. This is the same small-penis compensating MO-ron who introduced a bill requiring each family in town to own a gun.

Marsters, not surprisingly, got a visit from the Secret Service, who explained to Marsters that saying "shoot the n*gger" might be construed as inciting to violence.

Little twerp said he posted the piece because "frustrated by what he (Obama) was doing to the country." Fuckin little fruit doesn't realize that he and his National Feckin Rifle Association douchebag cohorts are the biggest threat to American liberty these days.

Small-penis-compensating Marsters oughta be shot himself.


Dickless wonder David Marsters, tea-baggin douchebag.
 
This asshole needs to be shot, then be locked up with some big old black biker who'll make little Davey his bitch for life.
 
Hey, David Marsters... FUCK YOU, you little pansy-assed punk. Grab your autographed picture of Wayne LaPierre and jerk off into your Gadsden flag, loser.
 
Want to tell Dickless how you feel? He's in the phone book in Sabattus.*
 
 
 
* Of course, the little douchebag has probably changed his number so his fee-fees don't get hurt. Fuckin little coward.

UPDATE: Turns out dickless wonder is a former cop from Mass, most likely for some college campus or some other 19th-rate agency. Probably wondered why the local African-American community didn't support his racist views. Also says the CIA visited him, along with Secret Service. Guess they wanted to recruit him for one of their death squads.

Hey, Marsters... We oughta shoot you, you skinny little white racist cocksucker.
 
 


 

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I. Don't. Friggin'. BELIEVE. This.


I really don't.

Representative Gary Miller, Republican (of course) from the Cereal State -- land of fruits and nuts and flakes, also known as Kah-lee-for-nyah -- was talking to a bunch of immigrant activists. He could sympathize with their plight as (possibly) undocumented immigrants:

“You know, I’ve talked to a lot of young people like [you],” Miller told the activists. “I mean, I understand the difficulty. Just like I was born in Arkansas. I came here when I was a year old.”


I shit you not.

This ignoramus thinks... well, who knows what this moronic jerkwad is thinking?

From the Raw Story article (cause I'm too flabbergasted to write anything now):

Frank Sharry of pro-immigration rights group America’s Voice, told the Post‘s Alex Seitz-Wald that Rep. Miller’s statement was “stunning in its ignorance” as well as being "revealing in how out of touch some Republicans are with the experience of undocumented immigrants.”

“And this is a guy who represents a district in California, the state that has the largest number of undocumented immigrants in the country,” Sharry continued. “So for him to say, I get your experience, I came from Arkansas to California, as if that is equivalent to a young kid coming from Mexico or El Salvador and growing up in the American school system and having opportunities denied to you because of your family’s immigration status, I mean, oh my God.”

“I’m going from finding it really hilarious to really disturbing,” he said.

Now, bear in mind, this is from Raw Story, not The Onion. This cretinous oxygen-thief (whose eyes and smile remind me of Alfred E. Newman) really, truly said that.

 
One of these is Representative Gary Miller, but it's kinda hard to tell them apart.
 
 
Now, I know that Republicans aren't always noted for their keen intellects (Bush, 2000; LePage, 2009; Perry, 2010; et al.), but sweet baby Jeebus on a pogo stick, come on.
 
 
How is it these MORONS manage to live to adulthood?

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Hannaford Pharmacy FAIL - Part 2


When last we checked in on the losers at the Hannaford Pharmacy, they had lost a number of the lovely yet talented Mrs618's prescriptions, because a hyphenated last name was "inconvenient" for them.

Well, we transferred the rest of our prescriptions from Hannaford -- the "You can't fix stupid" of the pharmacy world -- to another pharmacy, this one staffed by people who THINK. Of course, the LOSERS at Hannaford didn't transfer most of the prescriptions... ONLY THE EXPIRED ONES.

Back to the phone to have the various doctors send new scripts to the new pharmacy.

Hannaford: Losers that make other losers look good.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam...


...Spam, eggs, and Spam...

The ever-thoughtful spammers have figured out a sure-fire way to ensure I delete their messages unseen:

From: Fox News Network
To: Mr618
Subject: Instant Weight Loss

Now, if they only knew just how much I despise Faux "News," they'd realize the folly of sending me their crap.

For more on spam (the crappy email stuff, that is, not the crappy canned meat by-products that even Emily won't eat), see Randy Cassingham's Spam Primer.

Heard Around The Barn...


Since all the medical bloggers like Ambulance Driver and Captain Morse and Happy Medic all have tags for "Heard on the ambulance," I guess I should do the same...

We don't transport, so we don't have an ambulance, hence "heard around the barn."

Senior Guy: "Didja hear Farmer Brown got sick of his llama and told him to leave?"

Me: "No."

SG: "Llama said, okay, okay, alpaca my bag..."

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Fox "News" - Fair and Balanced...


...and dumber than a box of rocks.

Only Fox would get a press release naming the crew of Asiana Flight 214 as "Sum Ting Wong," "Wi Tu Lo," "Ho Lee Fuk" and "Bang Ding Ow" and run with it.

As Curt Varone says on his Fire Law blog, "YCMTSU."

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Hannaford Pharmacy Fail


The lovely yet talented Mrs618 and I have been getting our prescriptions filled at our local Hannaford Pharmacy for the past five years. Hannaford is a grocery chain with stores located in New England and New York, and is part of global grocery giant Delhaize.

About a year ago, Hannaford installed new pharmacy software that was supposed to streamline the system. Well, it didn't. Hannaford started losing prescriptions left and right, blaming it on "the doctor's offices." After losing so many of the lovely yet talented Mrs618's scripts -- meds that she needs to stay alive -- we started asking the doctor to confirm the pharmacy had in fact received the scripts. Turned out our doctor had been doing that for a while.

Now, the lovely yet talented Mrs618 hyphenates her last name, because she is proud of her own heritage. And we know that some folks have a hard time dealing with complicated names like Smith-Jones, so we always spell "Smith" for them. If the techs can't find it under "Smith-hyphen-Jones," we ask them to try "Smith," then "Jones."

This last go-round, Hannaford lost the script because:

(a) the doctor didn't send it. We had the doctor re-send it (for the FOURTH time); and
(b) the folks at the central data center sent it to the wrong store (not according to the confirmation our doctor received).

It didn't help that the pharmacy staff -- all relatively new -- were arrogant, condescending, and just generally snotty.

I spoke to the store manager, who said he would look into it.

Half-hour later, we get a phone call, the script is ready to go.

It had been there the whole goddamned time.

Turns out they couldn't locate it because my wife hyphenates her last name. This is after we asked them to check "Smith-Jones," "Smith," and "Jones."  How was it filed? Under "Jones."

It was my wife's fault that these MORONS couldn't find it filed under "Jones," even after we ASKED them to check under "Jones"?!?

And the pharmacist had the balls to tell us the lovely yet talented Mrs618 shouldn't hyphenate because "it's too much trouble for us."

We saved them the trouble and switched pharmacies. And supermarkets.

If you do business with Hannaford or any of the other Delhaize America companies (Food Lion, Harvey's, Sweetbay, and Bottom Dollar Food), maybe you should do the same.

Why make them go to all the trouble of doing the jobs they were hired to do?

Friday, June 21, 2013

Another One Gone From the Blogroll


Hydrant Girl, a Canadian paramedic (married to a firefighter), has changed her blog access to invitation only. Too bad, as I really enjoyed reading it, and learning how our Canadian brethren do things.

As an aside, she and her husband were at one of the races in Daytona when a car crashed into the stands. Not surprisingly, they both jumped in and started treating the injured.

Anyway, best of luck to Dorie and Jamie.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Special Guest Blogger: Emily


Hi, furless ones, this is Emily. I'm Mr618's celebrated Labrador whom you may have read about, back when Mom and Dad thought about things like pet blogging, instead of all that political crap.

A couple of days ago, dad was reading Michael Morse's blog, Rescuing Providence. Captain Morse had a piece about my cousin, Mr. Wilson. Cousin Wilson allegedly asked, "What's a dog?"

It appears Cousin Wilson forgot what the Head Beagle told us as pups, which is that we give the humans a reason to live. Humans, of course, are significantly inferior to canines, but they do serve a useful purpose in that their opposable thumbs allow them to open cans and bags more efficiently than we can with our teeth.

Captain Morse, God (which is, after all, dog spelled backwards) created dogs so firemen could have heroes too.





Despite what the beer companies (and Ben Franklin) say, dogs are the REAL proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Oh, and here's a picture of Cousin Wilson:


I guess his hair got so white worrying about his dad. Not easy trying to take care of a fire captain in a big city like Providence, I guess. (Hey, Cousin Wilson, when my dad comes down with lobsters for your dad, I'll send down a nice fresh Maine bone for ya, 'kay?)

Monday, May 27, 2013

God, I WISH This Had been True.....

Saw this on the Internet yesterday, and -- as we all know -- "you can't put it on the Internet if it isn't true."
"Rand Paul is a f*****g idiot," says Delaware Gov. Jack Markell, whose tiny state sits astride a hurricane zone. "The federal government, by pooling resources and exploiting economies of scale, can do disaster relief more efficiently the individual states alone.
"If this arrogant douchebag got his head out of Ayn Rand's ass long enough to see two feet in front of him, maybe he'd understand how important this work is."
This was the tail end of a story about ole Rand going off on one of his favorite hobby horses, the evil FEMA.
"I suppose people need help in times like these. And if individual states want to set up disaster relief agencies, that's fine. But why should taxpayers in other states be forced to pay? Kentucky doesn't have earthquakes. Kentucky doesn't have hurricanes. Kentucky doesn't have tornadoes, I don't think. So why are we footing the bill for this stuff?"

Of course, Rand isn't the only one bemoaning the fact the FEMA helps the poor as well as the rich:

Republicans have long had an interest in disbanding FEMA, an agency that most Americans believe fulfills a necessary role of government. Presidential nominee Mitt Romney famously said he wanted to "eliminate" the agency before reversing himself following a public furor.

But, alas, it's from the Daily Currant.*

Now, why would I wish something like this were true? Because think of the good times we could have jumping on poor dumb ol' Rand (and who names his kid Rand, for that matter?)

Not to mention the fact that SOMEONE needs to use "Markell's" words... only for real.





*Note to WND, Limpdick, and company: The Daily Currant is a satire site.**

** That means it's not real, it's made up.***

*** Like your "mandates."

Monday, April 15, 2013

Initial Thoughts on Boston

First and foremost, prayers and best wishes for the runners, volunteers, police, fire, EMS, and other emergency personnel who responded to today's horrific events. I hope Obama sticks by his word (for once), and doesn't wimp out on prosecuting -- or killing -- whoever did this.

A few things that the investigators are almost certainly working on:
  • April 15: Tax Day, hated by many far-right-wing anti-government extremists
  • Patriot's Day: another potential "inspiration" if this were, in fact, a right-wing "Patriot" whackjob
  • Boston: where the Tea Partiers got their inspiration, from the "patriots" who took part in the Boston Tea Party
  • Massachusettes has fairly tough gun registration laws
  • The race was dedicated to the victims of the Newtown shootings, which instigated nation-wide calls for effective gun control
  • Massachusettes has a black governor
  • The US has a black President
Am I saying that some right-wing McVeigh wannabe did this? Nope, I'm not saying anything of the sort. Just mentioning these points that may have played into some Patriot/Teabagging/Tax Protesting/anti-gummint/black-FEMA-helicopter racist gun nut small-penis-compensating loser deciding this was a way to strike a blow against the New World Order, Moozlums, and other scary people or whatever loser belief system this mutt or mutts might have.

I also noticed that during the second, prime-time special on NBC, anchor Bryan Williams said, "For all the wrong reasons, we've been fighting two wars for the past ten years," referring to the fact that many returning combat medics have seen these horrific injuries before.

My personal bet is some far-right-wing whacko like Eric Rudolph, Jared Loughner, McVeigh...  One of those losers.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?

(For the kids, that was the title of a popular song back during the Great Depression of the 1930's)

A fellow blogger whom I have mentioned many times is in really dire straits. He and his fiancee are facing some horrific conditions. If you could spare a buck or two (or even a couple of hundred), I would appreciate it, and I know it would be a lifesaver for them. He has a PayPal button at his site. Please try to send some cash his way.

It's my never-met but old buddy* Jurassic Pork, who currently runs Welcome Back To Pottersville. He's a good man who has had some truly crappy luck.

He was one of the first big-name bloggers to blogroll me back around 2006 or so, and has been lurking and commenting here since.


*Yeah, I might be presuming more to our association then he would prefer, but tough. *I* view him as a friend, so neener, neener, neener.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Leave of Absence

Posting will be lighter than usual -- bordering on non-existent -- for the week. My aunt died and my mother is taking it very hard.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

JP nails it. Twice.

Fellow blogger (and one of the first to link to me) has two very timely posts at his place:

  • a look at the ten year anniversary of our invasion of Iraq, which should be mandatory reading for all those who think the war only involves scary brown terrorist types, and
  • this:

JP and his missus are still finding rough sledding, as they are part of the 99%, so if you could swing by his blog and help them out, both they and I would appreciate it.