Happy 2014...

The lovely yet talented Mrs618 and I awoke to a glorious, bright, sunny morning, the start of a new year... and the realization that we have no medical insurance.

None.

Our less-than-illustrious Teabaggin' Governor, Fat-Ass Paul LePage, he of more chins than a Chinatown phone book, whose entire family -- including his equally-fat-assed daughter Lauren "I Fell Out Of The Ugly Tree And Hit Every Branch On The Way Down" LePage --gets state-funded healthcare at tax payer expense, took advantage of the one part of the Affordable Care Act that the rethuglicans love.

Now that the ACA allows everyone to buy insurance on the open market, Fat-Ass was able to dump 70,000 Mainers off the roles of MaineCare, our Medicare program. The problem is, of course, one has to have the money to buy a policy on the open market, which is why the plan provides financial assistance for those making at least the Federal poverty level to 450% of the poverty level.

Those of us who are unemployed, or who otherwise fall below the poverty level do not qualify for financial assistance, so, for us, it's "AMF, YOYO"*

I doubt that any of the workers at Fat-Ass' previous employer, Marden's Junk Emporium (which makes Sanford and Son look like Neiman-Marcus) get insurance. Well, maybe one fat-assed part-time cashier did... whose Daddy just happened to be the boss.

This does explain, though, why Fat-Ass was so bound and determined to pay off the past-due Medicare payments to the hospitals. Now that they have this influx of "found money" -- cause, face it, Fat-Ass would never have paid them otherwise, preferring to use the money for tax cuts for the rich -- he can now completely screw over 70,000 Mainers.

We were at the hospital yesterday, getting one last round of blood work for Mrs618, and a bunch of us in the waiting room were talking. We agreed it seemed more crowded than usual. Then, one after another, we all said we were losing our insurance at midnight.

Guess what, Fat-Ass? Now that none of us have insurance, we'll have to wait longer before we bite the bullet when we get sick. We'll be far sicker, and we'll also be completely uninsured. You know what that means? That means the emergency room will become our primary care physician by default. We'll be a dead drain on the hospital's resources. The hospitals are, after all, required to render emergency care, regardless of the patient's ability to pay, so all the rich doctors who voted for you will see their income plummet because the hospitals have to provide minimal care for us at their own expense. You're taking money out of the pockets of the IDIOTS who voted you in. Great re-election strategy there, Fat-Ass.

About half the folks in the waiting room had voted for Fat-Ass, because they were the typical Bible-thumpin', hooker-humpin' sister-marryin', rifle-rack-in-the-pickmup, duck f***in', toothless, mouth breathin' morans who always vote Rethuglican, despite the fact that those same Rethuglicans inevitably screw them over. But most of them, yesterday, said they wouldn't vote to re-elect Fat-Ass, and a bunch of them said they wouldn't vote Rethuglican anymore period.

They even admitted that Fat-Ass did exactly what he said he would do during his campaigns: make Maine business-friendly (by cutting regulations, worker's rights, insurance costs, and social services). They were amazed that a politician -- especially a Rethuglican -- kept his word.

Fat-Ass's poorly-thought-out master stroke will also increase the drain on other social services, like fire and EMS squads. Folks will wait longer to call for help, so they'll be far sicker, requiring more intensive and expensive pre-hospital intervention. Guess who's going to wind up paying for that? Yup, the taxpayers. Hospital stays will be longer. More folks will be faced with the "heat, food, or medicine" quandary, probably resulting in increases in malnourishment and chronic hypothermia as well as more serious medical conditions.

The lovely yet talented Mrs618 has some serious, chronic medical issues. Her prescriptions -- without insurance -- run about $3,000 a month (according to the prescription labels affixed by our pharmacy).  My average monthly income is about $150.00, from the few per diem teaching gigs I can find.

Without some sort of assistance, my wife will die in less than a year.

Let me repeat that, in case you missed it:

Without some sort of assistance, my wife WILL DIE IN LESS THAN A YEAR.


BECAUSE THOSE MOTHERFUCKING TEABAGGING SUCK-ASS REPUBLICAN "FAMILY VALUES" ASSHOLES DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE DARKER THAN EDGAR WINTER OR ANYONE MAKING LESS THAN $300,000 A YEAR.

Happy New Year, everyone.


* Look it up.

F**k A Buncha Duck Dy-NASTIES, Part II

Edited to add a comment at the end...

Great. Now we have Kid Rock -- who's about as useless as Justin Freakin Timberlake, saying we need to stop "this bullshit ass PC game." He is, of course, complaining about the condemnation being experienced by Bubba Robertson of the Duck F**kers.

Okay, genius, I'll stop the bullshit ass PC game.

YOU DUMBASS FREAKIN INBRED REDNECK LOSERS NEED TO STFU. WE DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU, YOUR NARROW-MINDED, RACIST, DUMBASS OPINIONS, OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT DRIBBLES OUT OF YOUR TOOTHLESS MOUTHS.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO ACT LIKE SPOILED LITTLE RACIST ASSHOLES, YOU SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED WHEN YOU'RE TREATED LIKE SPOILED LITTLE RACIST ASSHOLES.

And don't bother trying to post a comment defending the latest inbred racist asshole to hit the news.

Kid Rock (who's dumber than a rock), Ted Nugent (who doesn't have a freakin brain cell left in his head) and the rest of the Bible-thumpin', hooker-humpin', sister-marryin', rifle-rack-in-the-pickmup, right-wing-nut-job, inbred toothless oxygen thieves need to freakin JUST GO AWAY.

And if your little fee-fees get hurt and you want to run away and secede... PLEASE DO. The decent, thinking Americans, the ones who understand what Christ and the Constitution really say, the ones whose family trees aren't STRAIGHT LINES, won't try to stop you.

Hell, I'll even pay for the U-Haul -- or as you brainless wonders call them, "You-Haul-Ems".

GO AWAY, DUMBASS MOTHERF**KERS.

 

 

By the way, since all you asshole redneck inbred toothless morans that just HATE you some nigras -- like the witch doctor in the White House -- don't forget that ol' Kid hisself started out as a white rapper... tryin to be as ghetto and homie as Tupac, Notorious BIG, and the rest of the thug/gangsta crowd. Yup, Mister Super Redneck Moran wanted to be a nigra himself. But apparently, someone pointed out that he was white (sorta), so he hadda become a redneck Moran.

 



Oh, Fercrissakes...

As Chief Curt Varone* says, "You can't make this stuff up"...

Ohio [was] set to execute a convicted child killer after denying the man's last-minute request to donate organs to his ailing mother and sister before he dies.
[Convicted baby-raping murderer Ronald] Phillips has said through his attorneys that the request was not a delay tactic, but rather an attempt to make a final gesture for good.

 This is the latest chapter in the saga of Ronald Phillips, who in January 18, 1993, murdered his girlfriend's daughter, three-year-old Sheila Marie Evans, at her home in Akron. Phillips had been sexually and physically abusing Sheila for some time. Phillips severely beat Sheila in the head, face and abdomen, threw her against the walls, dragged her by her hair and anally raped her.

Phillips probably figured he could donate his organs, and then claim his physical health prohibited execution. Variations on this tactic include, just before one's scheduled execution, half-assed suicide attempts, assaults resulting in hospitalization, and a few other more creative things.

His attorney said:

"He's been very reflective and prayerful over the last several weeks. I think he was very hopeful that he was going to be granted clemency and/or get relief from the court, so this never really had to come to a head," Sweeney said. "The disappointment on those fronts made this obviously more relevant."

That, of course, makes all the difference: "Ah have found Jee-zuss, and He has forgiven me, so now y'all gotta let me outa here. Hey, y'all need a babysitter?"

It's the same crap we get from the "family values" crowd when they get caught with their pants down (literally).

BUT.....

Republican Gov. John Kasich rescheduled 40-year-old Ronald Phillips' lethal injection to July 2, falling for the "I got religion" ploy just like every other Xristian Xrazy.

As a result, the "law and order" party is allowing a baby-raping murderer to escape the punishment decided by a jury of his peers. Just goes to show, moreover, that their "right to life" stance ends at birth.

Be interesting to see what happens in July, whether the BABY-RAPING MURDERER pulls another fast one out of his ass, and manages to avoid the same death sentence he handed to his girlfriend's three-year-old daughter. 

Oh, he was also claiming that lethal injection would have been cruel and unusual punishment because he was "afraid of needles"... just as Sheila was probably afraid of this needle-dicked dink.

Hey, Phillips: DIE. Slowly, painfully, screaming in agony. DIE, you baby-raping murderous maggot.

________________________
* I am NOT implying, in any way, shape, or form, that Chief Varone agrees with any of the opinions expressed in this blog. I am merely quoting one of his tags, which I adopted: "YCMTSU."

Gingrich: "Romney is a liberal"

Lizardboy has declared that Mittens is a "pro-abortion, pro-gun control, pro-tax increase liberal."

This from the guy who asked his wife for an "open marriage."

Sweet baby Jebus.

Please. I'm Beggin' Ya. Secede.

Surprising news from the southern states. Not.

Part I: The Right to Bear Arms

As we all know, the South views the right to bear arms as THE most important aspect of life, bar none. Right behind that is the Southerner's hatred for any law and order that doesn't feature the Stars and Bars. Two "sovereign citizen" types, Jerry Kane and his 16-year-old son (probably named Bubba) shot and killed two police officers. Jerry and his equally dain-bread son tried to hide at a Wal-Mart (of course) and got cornered. They tried to shoot their way out again, but this time, the cops had some advance warning. Jerry and Bubba, dead in the lot at Wally World. At least they won't be locked up with "them niggras."

Part II: "Ah Hates Me Some Feds... Hey, Warshington, Ah needs Me Some He'p"

New Mexico and the "People's Republic of Arizona" -- two states that hate them some Feds cuz we got us a "niggra" President -- are all of a sudden asking for help from... the Feds. Obama (who seems intent on remaining bush-Dark) is sending some National Guard troops -- those who aren't in Iraq or Afghanistan, which means they're scraping the bottom of the barrel -- to help curb illegal immigration. Be interesting to see how many of the Guardsmen get jacked up by Joe Arpiao's "deppities" for being brown without a permit. The two states also want UAVs.

Part III: Family Values, Part Who Knows?

Family Values Rethuglican state rep Nikki Haley in South Carolina wants to be Governor. She should do an excellent job. Even without being elected, she's already displaying those "family values" so beloved by the rethugs. Yup, she was boffing some dude other than the one to whom she is married. And the dude she was screwing around with? A former aid to Governor Mark "Ah'm hikin' the Apple-lickin' trial with mah Brazilian twist" Sanford. Sanford's ex-wife and Sarah "Ah'm all for morality, which is why my daughter got knocked up without a husband" Palin both endorsed Haley.

Part IV: Westboro Baptist, Dallas Division

Forget "who shot JR", now the big question is "who ordained them gays and lesbians?" The Royal Lane Baptist Church ordained gay and lesbian deacons. The church had also been one of the first to accept blacks and ordain women. Of course, to the rest of the Baptist community (which obviously supports Westboro, since they haven't drummed them out) freaked out and have cast Royal Lane into the hellfire and brimstone for allowin' "them people" equal access to the church.

Part V: "What's Wrong With the KKK?"

A Georgia high school teacher was suspended after having four of her students (the entire student body, in other words) dress in KKK robes, allegedly for a "class project" (yeah, buddy, that's some classy project). The project, needless to say, was on racism... how to keep it alive, no doubt. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, in its coverage of the case, asks two questions: "Who has allowed students to dress as Klan members, Nazis or Salem witch burners?" and second, "Who cares?" The AJC is certainly standing firm in their support for the Stars and Bars. The reporter(?) writes: "I would argue that costumes are appropriate if dramatizations of real-life events enrich instruction and if the point is to show the true nature of these hateful acts. I understand how the sight of hooded students would upset classmates, but once the project was explained, I would think that their concerns would be allayed." Of course she'd blow a gasket if the students were dressed in Union blue.



Yessirree, these good ole boys sure are good Americans, aren't they?

Coupla Updates...

First, to the post entitled "Republican Family Values: The Gift That Keeps on Giving." This post, written last October, discussed some of the "Family Values®" displayed by the rethugs.

• Ted Alvin Klaudt, in a transparent attempt to keep himself out of the news (after being sentenced to 44 years for raping two of his foster daughters and 10 years for witness tampering) has claimed a "common-law copyright" on his name. Good try, but no. Ted Alvin Klaudt is still a pedophile rapist.
• Mark Sanford, whose hike on the Appalachian Trail turned out to be galavanting with his mistress in Argentina, celebrated being cleared of civil and criminal charges in connection with his adultery by partying in Florida... with his Argentinian squeeze.
• Vito Fossella, caught driving drunk while en route to his mistress' house, finished out his term and did not run for re-election. His Wikipedia article has lots of interesting info on "Ol' Family Values® Hisself."

Second, I have taken the opportunity to remove some dead links from the blogroll. 42, Welcome to the Revolution, and Mike's Column are going to be missed. All three were very good. A couple of others -- Dear Leader's Daily Thought and Cut to the Chase -- were deleted in that they haven't been updated in over two years, but both were good.

Jeez...

Six months since my last post? My, how time flies when one is truly disgusted.

Part I - Obama, Son of bush?

First off, we have President Obama, who seems bent on becoming bush Dark. His administration -- campaign promises to the contrary notwithstanding -- has failed to do anything about Gitmo, has tried to support the bush junta's claims to "zeckative privalige" in dealing with secrecy, and has now proposed weakening -- they call it "adjusting" or "tweaking" -- the Miranda warnings, saying that alleged terrorists should be questioned without being informed of their Constitutionally-guaranteed rights. The last time this horrific idea popped up was during the regime of St Ronnie; back then, everyone -- even the police -- opposed weakening the Miranda ruling.

For those not old enough to remember 1966 (and who have never seen any of the ubiquitous cop shows on TV), the Miranda warnings are a recitation of Constitutional rights that a police officer must give a criminal suspect, under certain circumstances (not, as seen on TV, each and every time a cop arrests someone). The warnings were initially criticized by then-President Richard M Nixon (who certainly knew a bit about criminal behavior) as "handcuffing" the police. Research since then has shown, however, that the conviction rates actually increased post-Miranda, in that cops actually had to, you know, investigate and gather evidence and all that good stuff, instead of relying on a coerced confession.

The far Reich-wing fanatics seem to have found a new ally in their effort to demonize anyone darker than Edgar Winter.

Part II - The Watch List and the Second Amendment

Now this one is just too bizarre to believe, yet it is really happening. The NRA's Congressional butt-kissers are fighting a proposal to ban folks on the terrorism watch list from buying firearms. Yup, Lindsey Graham and his gun-nut lunatic friends want to ensure that even though the United States demonizes anyone darker than Edgar Winter (see above), those Allah-lovin' terrists will still be able to pack heat.

And they claim to "love America..."

Part III - Palin & Co

Good God, is this woman still around? Why hasn't she been indicted?!?

And I just LOVE the way Bristol -- who is only 19 years old -- was spotted in a bar after giving one of her patented "let's all be nice and moral now, shall we?" speeches. Even the flippin' Free Republic(!) was annoyed.

I wish the Wasilla Hillbillies would go the hell away.

Part IV - "Family Values" and MC Steele*

Lordy, Lordy, where to start? Yet another "Family Values" Rethuglican has been busted with his boytoy, in this case George Alan Rekers. Rekers, a Baptist minister and anti-gay activist, got caught with a professional rentboy who touts his " 'smooth, sweet, tight ass' and 'perfectly built 8 inch cock (uncut)' and explains he is 'sensual,' 'wild,' and 'up for anything' — as long you ask first. And as long as you pay.' as the Miami New Times put it.

And Mikey Steele asked the party of fiscal responsibility to get him a private plane, like the rest of the rich kids, before he got caught splurging (and perhaps splooging) at a lesbian B&D club.

(* I'm not sure who dubbed him thus, but I first saw it at Dependable Renegade)

Part V - Arizona Wants Me...

...but only if I'm white. The great State of Arizona, the state where Sheriff Joe Arpaio houses inmates in a "tent city" and issues pink underwear, has a new law, allowing the Arizona Schutzstaffel (or ASS) and the Redneck Gestapo to stop anyone darker than Edgar Winter to verify that such "messican bandito" is in the country legally. Now, you just know that only the brown/black/red crowd will be stopped under the provisions of this law since, as one blogger pointed out, there aren't many illegal Canadian or Polish nationals in or around Phoenix.

And what about McCain's adopted daughter Bridget? How many times is she gonna get stopped before Daddy pitches a fit?

__________

And so, in conclusion, let me say that I am disgusted at the current political climate in this country, I am disgusted at the level to which personal responsibility has sunk, and I am disgusted at what has become of our nation of laws.

I wonder if Firestarter 5 will let me crash with him for a few days...

Republican Family Values: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Senator John Ensign (R-NV) has been in the news a lot lately. He is, of course, one of those "family values" Republicans... the kind that violates his deeply-held Biblical principles by fornicating with a woman to whom he is not married, and not to propagate the species, but simply because it's fun. In a half-assed attempt to atone for his egregious sin, Ensign used his political influence to find a job for the husband of his girlfriend, and to line up clients for the aforementioned husband of the aforementioned girlfriend of the aforementioned "family values" Republican.

In doing so, Ensign has joined the ranks of other "family values" Republican fornicators like Gov Mark Sanford (R-SC) who was cheating on his wife by boffing some babe in Buenos Aires; he is now also asking the SC Supreme Court to block the release of a state ethics report on his behavior, claiming it would be used for political purposes. He also lied to his constituents, but to a "family values" Republican, that's merely business as usual.

Another "family values" Republican lecher is Vito Fossella, who got bagged for drunk driving. He was on his way to visit his illegitimate daughter by the woman with whom he was committing adultery.

Ted Alvin Klaudt, a former state representative from South Dakota -- "family values" Republican, of course -- was charged with eight counts of second-degree rape, two counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, two counts of witness tampering, one count of sexual contact with a person under 16, and one count of stalking.

And of course, who could forget Mark Foley, disgraced former representative from Florida, who was hitting on underage pages?

In looking back through my previous posts on this never-ending topic, I found this link to ArmchairSubversive, which has a list of 82 instances of Republican pedophilia. And that's just child molesting (or child rape). There probably isn't enough room in the whole damn Internet for all the moral lapses by the "family values" Republicans.

More "Family Values"

From the rabble-rousing Boston Globe:

SAN ANTONIO—A former Sunday school teacher was arrested on charges of distributing harmful material to a minor after the parents of a 14-year-old boy found a topless photo of her on his cell phone.

Victoria Ann Chacon, 27, also a former middle school teacher, allegedly met the boy at their church, where she was teaching Sunday school.

You know, the more we read about the "family values" crowd, the more obvious it becomes that they have NO concept what family values really are.

What a bunch of low-life trailer trash.

"Family-Values" Republican Busted - Part 56,840

Vito Fossella is the Republican Congressman from New York City's Staten Island. As is the case with most "family values" Republicans, Fossella supported the Marriage Protection Amendment (which allows discrimination against gays; personally, I go along with Lenny Briscoe: "Of course gays should marry, why shouldn't they be miserable like the rest of us?"). He also supports posting the Ten Commandments (including the one that condemns adultery).

And like so many other "family values" Republicans, Fossella got busted. In Don Vito's case, he got bagged for drunk driving down in Virginia. He blew twice the legal limit. He told cops he was going to visit his daughter.

One small problem:

The daughter wasn't one of the three kids he had with his wife. This daughter was by his mistress. Oh, and he lied to his wife about his mistress.

Gotta LOVE them "family values" Republicans!

Update on Kwame Kilpatrick

I just watched a speech by embattled Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. Kilpatrick, if you're new to these precincts, has had what could charitably be described as a "speckled" career as mayor. There have been allegations of strippers and wild parties at the mayor's official residence, charges that he attempted to have a virtually bankrupt city pay for a Lincoln Navigator for his wife, and the latest allegations: that he committed perjury in an effort to conceal an extra-marital affair (and forced the city into a $9 million dollar settlement in a whistle-blower trial in the process).

Kilaptrick just appeared on WDIV-TV, Channel 4, the Detroit NBC affiliate. He spoke, not surprisingly, from his church.

As is the case with every other politician caught with his hand in the cookie jar, or his pants down (or both), he took the expected route: "I have sinned, I have found sweet baby Jeebus, I have repented, I must be forgiven, you must forget this thing ever happened."

Listening to the speech, Kilpatrick kept referring to the incidents of "the past week"... in other words, since the story broke that he may have committed perjury. Not a single comment about the affair, not a single comment about his alleged perjury, not a single comment about his ripping the city for 9 mil to cover his infidelity (although to be fair, he did mention that there were legal ramifications he couldn't discuss at present, namely his desperate attempts to evade indictment). In other words, he was apologizing for getting caught, not for boffing his Chief of Staff, not for ripping off the city to conceal the fact he has the morals of an alley cat, not for being a sleazy, rotten person. He only apologized for getting caught.

His wife, Carlita, who was in the church with him, stood by her man, although she looked as if she was ready to braid his testicles into those plastic key chains we made in summer camp.

I can sympathize with the mayor for having his personal peccadilloes spread across the front page, but my sympathy is tempered by the fact that every politician should know that he, she or (in dubya's case) it, does not have the same expectation of privacy as we ordinary mortals. One of the drawbacks to public service is that your every move will be (and should be) under a microscope, especially if those moves adversely affect the public you have theoretically sworn to serve. If you're going to enjoy the perks of public life (like having a posse made up of sworn law enforcement officers), you also have to accept the drawbacks.

Kilpatrick made it abundantly clear that he was not going to resign as mayor of Detroit. Personally, I think he should resign. He shamed his city, and made it a laughing stock. And it's not as if Detroit didn't have all sorts of problems already. His former chief of staff, Beatty, did the honorable thing; Kwame should do the same. He has forfeited any trust the citizens of Detroit may have had. The city needs to move on, and the best way to do that is for Kwame to go away.

The city of Detroit is in a crisis. While a crisis has been described as "danger + opportunity," there is very little opportunity in this situation. Kwame put off the speech for a week after the story broke, and -- as any crisis manager could tell you -- a delay that long allows the "other side" to frame the story any way they want. In this case, the media framed the story as yet another moral lapse by the mayor. In delaying as long as he did, Kilpatrick was forced into even more of a defensive posture than he might have been in earlier.

Of course, having text messages pop up that conclusively prove you had an affair after you and your paramour testified, under oath, that you hadn't, is not exactly the easiest thing to deal with. But Kilpatrick's usual ham-handed handling of this scandal allowed it to balloon into even more of a disaster. This is the kind of situation that has almost no chance of positive spin.

Wayne County prosecutor Kym Worthy is investigating this case. Worthy must acknowledge the fact that her constituency extends across the entire county, and while the citizens of Detroit may shrug this off as "a man being a man," her constituency may not be so forgiving. Even though people outside of Detroit or even Wayne County may not care about the mayor's indiscretions, they are painfully aware of the political and social ramifications. The state of Michigan is already suffering from what has been described as a "one-state recession;" a situation like this is not going to attract new business, industry, or investment to Detroit, or even the state as a whole. A reputation of corruption in local officials can taint the reputation of an entire state; just ask anyone who lived in New Jersey during the 60's and 70's.

Furthermore, Kilpatrick's law license should be suspended immediately, pending final disposition of the case by Wayne County or state officials. Kilpatrick has certainly exhibited conduct of an immoral nature; such conduct is grounds for disbarment.

Leaving aside, for the moment, the personal ramifications for the Kilpatricks, allegations of sexual impropriety are a death knell for any politician's future prospects. Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Bill Clinton and others all learned this the hard way. Kilpatrick apparently thought it couldn't happen to him.

It can happen, and it did happen.

More Mayoral Frivolities...

A few days ago, I wrote about Grace Saenz-Lopez, the mayor of Alice, TX, who has managed to jam herself up with allegations that she and her twin sister stole a dog.

Now we learn, via the Detroit Free Press (the "good" freepers) that Detroit's mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is once again in trouble. Kilpatrick has been in trouble more or less since he took office, what with allegations of strippers at a party at the Manoogian Mansion (the mayor's official residence), claims he tried to get the police department of a bankrupt city to pay for a Lincoln Navigator for his wife, and a whole slew of other complaints. Last summer, two former cops (one a former deputy chief) sued the city under a whistleblower statute, claiming they had been fired for participating in an internal affairs investigation that might have revealed the mayor was having an affair with his chief of staff. Kilpatrick and chief of staff Christine Beatty denied, under oath, that they were having an affair. The Free Press managed to get transcripts and images of text messages sent back and forth on city-paid Sky pagers, that indicate the two were, in fact, making the two-backed beast.

Kilpatrick was supposed to be attending a mayor's conference in Washington, DC, when the story broke; it turns out, however, he was at a home his family had just purchased in Florida. As one local blogger put it, "he was, not surprisingly, unavailable."

Local DA Kym Worthy held a press conference, promising her office would look into these allegations. The effect was diminished, however, by Worthy's obvious disgust at being "bothered" by this whole thing. State Attorney General Cox is staying out of this for the time being, pending developments in Detroit. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for either of these folks to act.

Kilaptrick, echoing every other politician who gets caught with his pants down, is begging the press to "respect his family's privacy" and claiming that this mess is just a "personal matter." Unfortunately, that doesn't wash. Kilpatrick has been a slime since his first days in politics, and using city resources -- especially the resources of a city in as bad a shape as Detroit -- takes this out of the realm of family matters.

If you are the mayor of a major American city, you should understand going in that you are going to be living in a fishbowl. Politicians, because of their high public profile, have no privacy. Don't believe me? Ask Rudy, the Clenis, Larry Craig, Mark Foley, and God knows how many others.

And speaking of Foley, Kilpatrick should have learned from Foley's shenanigans - don't email, text, or IM anything you wouldn't want to see on the front page.

Lying under oath, my friends, is called perjury. It is a felony in every jurisdiction I'm aware of. A conviction for perjury generally involves prison time, and is grounds for losing any professional licenses a person may hold (ranging from EMT to dentist to attorney). Kilpatrick, as an attorney and member of the bar, should be disbarred immediately; by committing perjury -- especially in an effort to conceal his personal peccadilloes -- has forfeited any right to a position of public trust. Beatty, who is a law student, should be expelled and prohibited from holding any public trust position.