Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Fat-ass LePage Chronicles, Part I

I have a feeling I'm going to be doing a lot of writing -- a whole, big, pee-pot-full of writing -- about Fat-as Paul LePage, so I figured I might as well create a tag for it now.

Fat-ass Paul LePage and the Environment

Fat-ass Paul LePage proves once again that he is every bit as venal, corrupt, incompetent, and uncaring as his intellectual hero, gee-dubya bush.

In his latest push to make Maine friendlier to business (and screw the little guy), he now wants to "relax" dozens of environmental rules:

  • He wants to repeal rules requiring that manufacturers take back recyclable goods: "Every nickel deposit business doesn't hafta pay to some damn consumer is another nickel that can go to executive compensation, stockholder dividends, and my campaign."
  • He wants to open 10 million acres of northern Maine to commercial development: "Every new business we can bring to Maine will generate executive compensation, stockholder dividends, and contributions to my campaign."
  • He wants to reverse a ban on a chemical in children's products that has been linked to cancer: "Why worry about kids? They can't vote for me, nor can they increase executive compensation, stockholder dividends, or contributions to my campaign."
  • He wants to make Maine's environmental laws conform to less-stringent Federal laws (eventually, he'd like them to conform to the environmental laws in Mississippi, Alabama, Nigeria, Sudan, and China): "Who needs clean air and clean water?"
Of course, the environmentalists are up in arms, but it's not like fat-ass LePage kept his big-business-fellating ideas secret, for God's sake.  Since Day One of his campaign, he has been talking about making Maine look like other business-friendly communities, like Camden, New Jersey; Gary, Indiana; Detroit, Michigan; and Bangalore, India.


Fat-ass Paul Lepage and Common Courtesy

One of the folks here in town asked me why I always refer to Fat-ass Paul LePage as "Fat-ass Paul LePage." 

"Why don't you show him the respect he is due as Governor of the State of Maine?"

Two reasons:

"Go to Hell" and "Kiss my butt." 

In the "kiss my butt" fiasco, he mentioned his "son" Devon Raymond.  Of course, as a rethuglican teabaggin lyin sack-o-turd, Fat-ass LePage is still not telling the truth.  Raymond was not adopted by the Fat-ass LePage family (hell, he probably isn't even in this country legally).  Raymond's daddy caddied for Fat-ass when Fat-ass was on vacation a few years back.

So I'll show Fat-ass LePage some common courtesy when he does the same for others.

I'm not holding my breath, though.

More on Fat-ass Paul LePage and his assault on common courtesy here.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Fat-Ass LePage Kisses Booty.

Fat-ass Paul LePage is at the MLK breakfast in Waterville today.

This is less than a week after he told the black community to "kiss my butt."

He initially said he wasn't going because he was going to a funeral.  Guess Fat-ass realized the funeral would be his political funeral.

Looks like he's the one who wound up kissing butt.

And the blacks should still ignore the LaKermesse-Cheese-Eating-Surrender-Monkey-Collaboration Festival.

Teabaggin' @ssholes... holding fast to their principles... until they're not.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

"I Just Don't Care..."

Fat-ass Paul LePage on MPBN:
"Past governors have done what they've done and look at the shape we're in," he says. "I was elected governor to fix the problems and I'm not one that likes the fancy stuff, so take their tradtion and get somebody else to do it. I just don't care about that stuff. I'm there to do a job. I mean, they're just playing silly games I don't have time for."


Unspoken additional: yeah, do they expect me to give a rat's ass about anybody that isn't a teabagger?  I mean, I'm like, you hafta be white conservative rethuglican to mean anything to me, and you guys, like, you're black, for god's sake.

Yup, fat-ass, you're here to do a job.  Unfortunately, the job you think you were elected for -- gutting environmental regulations, eliminating taxes on the wealthy, providing sinecures for your fat-assed family, and just generally being a teabaggin butthole -- is not the job the people of Maine eleccted you for.  And even more unfortunately, the people of Maine aren't going to realize that until you've screwed them seventeen ways from Sunday.

Bringin' Class Back to Politics...

...one loud-mouthed @sshole at a time...

Maine's new governor, the fat-assed Paul LePage, has now pissed off the African-American portion of the population, by telling them to "kiss my butt" when he was asked why he declined to attend several MLK day events.  LePage probably also said -- or at least thought -- "I don't hafta go cuz I'm the governor, so neener neener neener, kiss my quivering, cottage-cheese, Limbaugh-like cellutlite."

Hae also said people should talk to Devon Richard, a black Jamaican "he brought into his home at age 17."  Guy's probably his fat-assed daughter's pokin pal.  Not that anyone would want to poke her lard-assed butt.  Wonder what Devon thinks about ol' Paul dissing the blacks twice in a row (telling Obama to "go to hell" and this little escapade)?

One small problem, though:
LePage often refers to 25-year-old Devon Raymond of Jamaica as his "adopted son." And although the governor and his wife are putting Raymond through college, and Raymond has attended LePage family gatherings with the LePage's other children on a regular basis since the age of 17, Raymond has not been formally adopted. He is also not a U.S. citizen.


[NOTE: MPBN -- Maine Public Broadcasting Network -- shows Devon's last name as Raymond, but most other media outlets say it's Richard.]

Given how much teabaggin rethuglicans hate ever'body who ain't 110% white, God-fearin', Bible-thumpin', hooker-humpin', sister-marryin', rifle-rack-in-the-pickmup Murrican, how can fat-ass LePage justify this? Oh, yeah, I forgot: IOKIYAR.

Since fat-ass LePage also issued -- already -- an executive order allowing (or perhaps requiring) state officials to ask about immigration status, it'll be interesting to see how he reacts when Devon gets jacked up by the Augusta cops for being a non-citizen taking advantage of the benefits of citizenship... like driving, working, breathing, and simply living..

Yeah, he's one class act.  But what do you expect from someone who worked for a bunch that makes Sanford and Sons look like Hammacher-Schlemmer?

Given the fact that LePage is a teabagging ultraconservative ugly-as-homemade-sin dickwad with more chins than a Chinese phonebook, it makes me wonder if he shares the conservative disdain for the French.  Does he hate himself as a "cheese-eating surrender monkey"?

And maybe the black community should tell fat-ass Lepage to kiss their collective butt at this year's La Kermesse Franco-American Cultural Heritage Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey Collaboration Festival.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

It's Started Already

I have already received two comments with death threats, obviously from the peace-loving teabaggers of the far right.

I have enabled comment moderation, in that I don't particularly want to subject you to the vile hatred I just received.

If you absolutely must know what the teabaggers and other far-right whackjobs consider civilized discourse, go read the latest "hate mail" post at The Great Orange Satan.

And as for the cowardly little teabaggers who threaten from obviously fake gmail and hotmail accounts...

Screw you. If you don't even have the courage to use your real email address -- which is probably something like cheetoh-stained_underpants@mymommysbasement.net --you're not gonna impress with your "ballsiness", you dickless wonders.

More on Arizona Shootings

[Edited to mark second and third paragraphs from end -- "During the campaign effort" and "I don't see the connection" -- as quotes, which they are.]

From an AP update...

Jared Loughner, identified (unofficially) as the shooter, allegedly posted this on a YouTube video:


"I know who's listening: Government Officials, and the People," Loughner wrote. "Nearly all the people, who don't know this accurate information of a new currency, aren't aware of mind control and brainwash methods. If I have my civil rights, then this message wouldn't have happen (sic)."
That sounds an awful lot like the arguments used by the sovereign citizen/redemptionist/militia crowd (check the labels for other related pieces).

Other examples of the peace-lovin’ teabaggers:
  • A San Francisco man upset with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's support of health care reform pleaded guilty to threatening the Democratic congresswoman and her family, calling her directly on March 25 and threatening to destroy her Northern California home if she voted for health care reform.
  • In July, a California man known for his anger over left-leaning politics engaged in a shootout with highway patrol officers after planning an attack on the ACLU and another nonprofit group. The man said he wanted to "start a revolution" by killing people at the ACLU and the Tides Foundation.

Giffords’ opponent:

During the his campaign effort to unseat Giffords in November, Republican challenger Jesse Kelly held fundraisers where he urged supporters to help remove Giffords from office by joining him to shoot a fully loaded M-16 rifle. Kelly is a former Marine who served in Iraq and was pictured on his website in military gear holding his automatic weapon and promoting the event.

"I don't see the connection," between the fundraisers featuring weapons and Saturday's shooting, said John Ellinwood, Kelly's spokesman. "I don't know this person, we cannot find any records that he was associated with the campaign in any way. I just don't see the connection."

Johnny, if you can't "see the connection" between the violence preached by your candidate, and this shooting, your eyes are worse than Stevie Wonder's.

Shooting in Arizona

I had been planning on posting one of my usual arrogant diatribes against the teabaggers (as personified by the new governor of the State of Maine, Paul LePage, a typical fat-assed, ugly-as-homemade-sin rethuglican twit with more chins than a Chinese phone book), but that got pre-empted by this morning's shooting in Tuscon, Arizona, of US Representative Gabrielle Giffords, a Democrat (well, former rethuglican, now blue-dog Democrat).

As things stand now (5:00 PM Eastern), it looks like 6 dead, including a Federal judge and a 9-year-old girl, and another 12 -- including Giffords -- wounded.

CNN is reporting a 22-year-old is in custody for the shooting.

According to CNN:
She won her third term in a closely contested race against a Tea Party-sponsored candidate and was one of three Democratic legislators who reported vandalism at
their offices following the March vote on health care reform.

The jackwad in custody will probably be some teabagger gun nut who’s pissed because some mere woman beat a good teabaggin male.

This fruit will probably rejoice at the judge's death, cause the teabag sovereign citizen crowd doesn't like judges, especially Federal judges, who say Hispanics and Muslims in this country have the same rights as the white, God-fearin', brown-person-hatin', KKK-robe-wearin', hooker-humpin', sister-marryin', rifle-rack-in-the-pickmup cracker redneck morons.

Guess what, you teabag MO-rons. This is one of YOUR people who did this. You own this. This is what you are promoting as acceptable discourse. This is what Beck and Malkin and Coulter and Limbaugh all stand for. This is what Boner and Lepage and Bachmann and all the rest of the teabaggers support. You demand action, violent action. You say "the tree of liberty must be watered with blood."

You can't turn around now and say "well, I was only kidding."

Teabaggers are murderers. They murder children.

THEY MURDER NINE-YEAR-OLD LITTLE GIRLS.

Bet you're proud of yourselves now, right, @ssholes?

Friday, December 24, 2010

Republicans: Restoring Honesty to Government.

Yeah, right.

Maine's governor-elect Paul LePage has announced his 22-year-old daughter, Lauren, will be an assistant to his chief of staff at a salary of $41,000 per year, a salary that is "commensurate with her experience, work history and education."
LePage's spokesdrone says state rules against hiring relatives do not apply to politicans with an "R" after their names.

Lessee, her work history... "several stints" clerking at Marden's Surplus and Salvage, a local retailer that is somewhere between Sanford and Sons and Wally World on the retail food chain and waitressing.


Marden's Newspaper Ad




Yup, perfect preparation for a job dealing with "constituent concerns" in the new administration. Lauren, a typical fat-assed, ugly-as-homemade-sin rethuglican twit with more chins than a Chinese phone book, graduated with a degree in biology but apparently decided that politics beat "yew want fries wid dat?".

Lauren LePage, Rethuglican Lust-Goddess



Come to think of it, waitressing and clerking ARE important constituent concerns to a Republican administration, in that those are going to be two of the main constituencies once the Rethugs get settled in.

And Marden's loves buying vacant Wally World stores, because they already have that hopeless, crappy atmosphere.

Be interesting to see if they try to claim the Homestead tax break on the governor's mansion (both LePage and his fat-assed ugly wife tried to claim exemptions on their homes in Florida and Maine, claiming that each was the family's primary residence. They managed to skate however, when a rethuglican judge said it was perfectly understandable that they didn't know where they lived.

LePage, of course, is an ardent teabagger, to the extent that he denied any connection with the teabaggers when questioned by reporters, who then rolled some footage of LePage at various teabagger events, thanking the faithful for their obeisance.

Several weeks back, LePage held a meeting with a number of business leaders -- a meeting from which consumer advocates, environmentalists, and other thinking-types were intentionally excluded -- in which he told the executives "we're already on your side, and we need your help to defeat the legislature."

Let the fun and games begin. This should be almost as good as having ole gee-dumbya back.

New Years Resolutions, Part I

In this holiday season, when the christianist right is demanding that we worship their mythical holy figure (despite the fact that everything they themselves do is completely antithetical to the core tenets of Christianity) while at the same time mindlessly lashing out at those Americans who prefer to think for themselves, I have concluded that it is time to treat them the way they treat everyone else.

Jeff Foxworthy, the alleged comedian who is about as funny as a stroke, once defined "redneck" as "the glorious absence of class." It is his crowd, the teabagger-neocon-wingnut fringe idiots who have elevated stupidity to a desirable status, who revel in their ignorance, who delight in their ability to sow hatred and disgust where ever they may go, who believe that insult, degradation, and humiliation are appropriate and fashionable means of expression.

In their honor, my New Year's resolutions:
  • Accept the fact that the only language they understand is their own, a curious mixture of theocratic gobbledygook, country bumpkinisms, and pure unadulterated gibberish that promotes mindless, vicious hatred and vitriolic diatribes against all but their own, with acceptance of the fact that they are so figgin dumb that they could never comprehend Dick and Jane books, never mind something as sophisticated as "My Pet Goat" (which to your average redneck is another term for "girlfriend;
  • Understand that the right-wing losers are the way they are because of their tendency to breed early, often, and with members of their immediate family, resulting in a sub-species of slack-jawed drooling inbred idiots whose family trees are nothing but straight lines;
  • Realize that their tendencies towards homosexuality-tinged-with-homophobia is due to the fact that their wimmenfolks are (a) syphilitic crackwhores with all the sexual attractiveness of naked mole rats, (b) screeching fingernail-on-the-blackboard fishwives, or (c) fat ignorant sluts who'll spread their sweaty thighs for a shot of Jack Daniels and a half-smoked Kool and that their innate racism is nothing more than camouflage for their desire to get them some dark meat like McCain's half-breed Hindu mistress;
  • Accept the fact that their panty-in-a-wad hissy-fittedness in Congress is simply because they know they don't have the brainpower to fart without help.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Thoroughly Disgusted

The Democrats have sunk to a new all-time low in their mindless, hopless quest for bipartisanship and respect from the Rethuglicans.

Today's Portland Press-Herald has an article in which Democratic gubernatorial candidate Libby Mitchell apologized for having posed with a picture of George Bush that labeled him an "International Terrorist." The complaints came from Rethuglican/Teabagger Paul LePage, who showed his respect for the office of the President by telling Obama to "go to hell."

Number one, Bush, by his own administration's definition, IS a terrorist. One definition of terrorist is:

The calculated use of violence or the threat of violence to attain goals that are political, religious, or ideological in nature. This can be done through intimidation, coercion, and use of violence or instilling fear. Terrorism includes a criminal act against persons or property that is intended to influence an audience beyond the immediate victims.

By this definition, Bush certainly qualifies. He used violence (military attacks) to achieve ideological goals (eradication of Islam, elimination of Saddam Hussein, and the perpetuation of his far-right-wing government). These acts were intended to influence an audience beyond the initial victims (i.e., the "PATRIOT Act", warrantless wiretaps of American citizens, etc).

Next, LePage is an absolute charmer himself. After saying he would tell the President of the United States to "go to hell," it turns out he and his wife took advantage of "homestead" tax breaks for their permanent residence. Trouble is, they tried this both in Maine and in Florida (and Florida is now after them for repayment).Now, apparently taking a page from the Sarah Palin school of media relations, he won't answer reporters' questions unless they're in writing (which gives him the option of ignoring them completely). He claims he's not a Tea Partier, yet he has made dozens of appearances at various Tea Party events, each time expressing his admiration for the drooling losers.


It's hysterical that these demands for respect come from the same asshats that delight in sending pictures of the (much-as-it-galls-them) duly elected President of the United States as a Muslim, or a witch doctor, or eating fried chicken and watermelon, or the "Obama Waffles."

The damn Democrats don't understand that the Rethuglicans these days will not do a damn thing proposed by the Democrats. Obama could offer to abolish IRS, ATF, the income tax, and the Fourteenth Amendment and have Ronald Reagan's face placed on the flag and all US currency, and the obstructionist Rethugs would say "hell, no."

This ball-less party to which I belong is going to lose big time this go-round... and we'll have no one to blame but ourselves. We've been bringing a hankie to a frickin' gunfight.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

OMFG, Part whatever

Basil Marceaux. The guy is running for Governor (or maybe Senator, or maybe both) in Tennessee.

Even for a redneck, he is un-flippin-believable.

I woulda SWORN this was bogus when I saw it on Wonkette.

But he's for real. Right down to removing the gold fringe from the American flag.

Bryan Williams' Freudian Slip is Showing

In concluding a report on the new Arizona immigration law, Williams referred to the "US - Arizona border." He corrected himself, but I think he was right the first time. And I think he thinks so, too.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Irony is Delicious

Have you seen all the rabid right-wingers with the bumper stickers that say, "Those who sacrifice freedom for liberty deserve neither"?

Well, first, the correct quotation is, "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." It was said by Benjamin Franklin.

Second, the folks most likely to display this sticker are members of the bush-Palin lunatic fringe... the ones who support things like the Patriot Act, the formation of the Department of Homeland Security, warrantless wiretapping, extraordinary rendition, and the suspension of habeus corpus.

In other words, they're the ones supporting the reductions of liberty in the "interests" of safety.

Cops: The Changes Over the Years

You know, the more I deal with today's law enforcement "professionals," the more grateful I am that I got out twenty years ago. These days, between the birthers, Sovereign Citizens, "patriots," tax protesters, Redemptionists, Oath Keepers, militias, "minutemen (1, 2)," tea partiers, anti-immigrationists , right-to-lifers (most of whom, inexplicably, are also rabidly in favor of capital punishment), Christianists, Dominionists, and just general racist assholes, I don't see how any member of any minority group -- which apparently includes people not believing that Palin and bush are gods -- could possibly expect fair treatment from the cops.

After all, police officers are the ones we expect to uphold the law and protect the weak. But, instead, we have cops claiming for themselves the exclusive right to function as judge, jury, and executioner, threatening to "cap your ass" if you don't support their twisted, Beck-inspired version of the Constitution.

The cops these days are completely out of control.

We have cops "mistaking" their sidearms for their Tasers (yeah, right).

They demand blind adherence to their every command, while blatantly violating the laws themselves.

When I was a kid, cops were respected and looked up to; now they're feared and despised... and for good reason, too.

How the hell can anyone respect them today?

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Elsewhere in (Medical) Blogtopia*

Two disheartening things from the world of EMS blogging... first, Mark Glencourse, a British paramedic and a leader of the EMS 2.0 movement, announced that he was closing his blog, 999Medic.com. Mark took this action in response to the usual political BS that sometimes arises with blogging about the emergency services community (which is why I don't do it). Mark and San Francisco Firefighter/Paramedic Justin Schorr (who blogs at HappyMedic.com) are also the driving force behind an upcoming reality show, The Chronicles of EMS. He will be sorely missed.

On a less pleasant note, one of the medical bloggers I read on a regular basis, who lives in Massachusetts, admitted today that he was one of 207 MA EMTs who falsified re-certification training records.

Thanks, dude.

Glencourse, Schorr, and countless others are trying to make EMS a profession, not a trade. They're trying to re-educate the public, and convince the masses that EMS personnel are entitled to the respect that 2000+ hours of advanced trauma and medical training should bring.

These guys are trying to make the job better, get us some respect, maybe even livable wages. But you and your lazy-ass buddies down there had to screw around cause you didn't want to sit through continuing education classes.

Now the public looks at all EMS personnel and wonders, "Did he really do his continuing education? Or is he lying, like those Massachusetts losers? Is he gonna save my life or will his rusty skills and outdated knowledge KILL me?"

You may wonder what the big deal is. It's this: we're talking skills and knowledge needed to save lives. We're not talking about missing the latest changes to the Tax Code, or a fast-breaking tech bulletin on Toyota's acceleration issues here. We're talking life or death. How to calculate the appropriate dosage of the appropriate medication for your infant based on size and weight, or remembering how to correctly interpret an ECG strip or perform an endotracheal intubation successfully. You know, the stuff that will keep you alive so you can walk your daughter down the aisle at her wedding and bounce your grand kids on your knee.

The thing is, I don't know if he is truly a lazy bastard, or if he got in with the wrong crowd (as our parents used to say), or what. Whatever the reason, he has made our jobs harder, by violating the trust the public had in us.

What IS it with folks in emergency services these days?!? Have we all lost our friggin' self-respect, our professionalism, our very minds? We have Oath-Keeper cops claiming the right to kill you for disagreeing with them, we have medics lying about training. We have firefighters confessing to arson.

WTF, people?

If we want to be respected, if we want to inspire today's kids to become tomorrow's protectors, hell, if we want a decent paycheck, ...

WE HAVE TO EARN IT.

And we don't earn it by putting on the funky clothes. We earn it by being the very best cop/firefighter/medic we can be, by delivering the level of service and knowledge and skills we would demand for our spouses or our children.

People in my generation went into emergency services inspired -- in part -- by shows like Emergency or Adam-12. What inspired the current crop, The Simpsons? Beavis and Butthead?

* y!sctp (Yes, Skippy coined the phrase).

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

OMFG. Again. Still.

Via Watertiger...

Instead of placing blame on BP for the massive environmental and economic disaster that it has caused in the Gulf of Mexico, Brogdon claimed that government is “the problem” and that the spill is a “perfect example of why government should never be involved in the private sector”.
As she said, "The stupid, it really does burn."

Retired Justices to Continue to Sit?

There's a movement afoot to create legislation allowing a retired Supreme Court Justice to sit in a case where a current justice has recused himself or herself. The rationale behind the proposal by Senator Patrick Leahy (D-VT) is to lessen the likelihood of an evenly-divided court.


"I talked with Justice Stevens, and he raised the question, 'Could we not have a provision in the law for some mechanism that retired Supreme Court justices could be asked to sit on the Court when there is a recusal?' " Leahy said in an interview with The National Law Journal.

This might be a good idea, except for one small problem: the Justices most in favor of this proposal are Rethuglicans, like Scalia and the late William Rehnquist.


In 2000, Chief Justice William Rehnquist decided to hear an antitrust case involving Microsoft Corp., despite his son's work for the company in a separate case. In explaining his decision not to recuse, Rehnquist noted "the negative impact that the unnecessary disqualification of even one Justice" might have.

"Not only is the Court deprived of the participation of one of its nine Members, but the even number of those remaining creates a risk of affirmance of a lower court decision by an equally divided court," Rehnquist wrote.

God forbid anyone shuld ever rule against Microsoft, right?

Justice Antonin Scalia expressed a similar concern in 2004, when he declined to recuse from a case involving Vice President Dick Cheney. The two went on a hunting trip in Louisiana while the case -- related to records from Cheney's energy task force -- was pending.

Scalia simply said, "Darth Cheney must be obeyed. Secrecy must be maintained. Resistance is futile. All must be assimilated."

The unspoken concern, of course, was that the Supreme Court would be unable to support Big Business over the interests of the common man, if the neocons were not allowed to have a majority of the Court.

Face it, if Rehnquist and Scalia support something, you just have to know it's a bad idea. Plus, of course, you didn't hear any concerns about this when the Court was missing one of its liberal Justices.

Surprisingly, Orrin Hatch (R/Neanderthal - Utah) opposed the idea.

Stevens was appointed to the Court by Gerald Ford in 1975, and has generally been one of the more liberal Justices (especially when compared to the likes of Rehnquist, Scalia, and Roberts). So if this idea comes to pass, you can expect the Reich-wing Justices to support the idea, but demand some way to ensure only their guys get called back after retirement.

Interesting Problem Brewing...

... for the South Carolina Rethuglicans...

Retiring US Rep Henry "Bubba" Brown decided he was going to try for the position of County Supervisor in Bubba Berkley County, but lost to Dan "Bubba" Davis.

Meanwhile (with the emphasis on "mean"), Tim "Bubba" Scott won the Rethuglican run-off (run-out?) to replace Brown in Washinton.

One small problem: if Brown wins, he would become the state's first black Rethuglican congresscritter since Reconstruction.

Poor South Carolina Rethuglicans now have to choose between "wunnathem nigras" or "wunnathem demmycrats."

What's a good Bible-thumpin', hooker-humpin', sister-marryin', rifle-rack-in-the-pickmup God-fearin cracker redneck Rethuglican to do?

OOOH, Stop the Press!!!

From the Humongously Big Surprise Department...

US District Martin Feldman, who struck down the six-month ban on deep-water drilling, has investments in:
  • Transocean Ltd, the owner of the Deepwater Horizon rig that exploded and sank;
  • Ocean Energy
  • Prospect Energy
  • Peabody Energy
  • Parker Drilling, and.... wait for it...
  • yup, Halliburton!

This is according to a story listing some of the details in Feldman's financial disclosure statement.

Another big surprise: Feldman was named to the bench by Reagan.

Yet another surprise: he ruled in favor of the oil industry.

Oh, and he hangs with his BFF, Nino Scalia.

The Cereal State Strikes Again

Yes, the land of nuts and flakes has come up with yet another amazing way to showcase their ultimate lack of common sense.

California "is considering a bill that would allow the state to begin researching the use of electronic license plates for vehicles." Yup, those electronic billboards aren't distracting enough, now we'll have to worry about license plates that would switch to digital ads or other messages when it is stopped for more than four seconds, whether in traffic or at a red light.

Your average California driver (I am specifically excluding BadTux) has the attention span of a hyperactive gnat to begin with. Can you imagine the back-ups that will ensue as thousands of California drivers get mesmerized by the pretty, flashing messages on the plates ahead of them at traffic lights?

And just think about the ads you'll see:
  • granola-bar-dispensers for your Prius
  • Birkenstock tires
  • tourism ads from Arizona ("offer void if dark-skinned")

This has to be one of the worst ideas ev--

Ooooh, look, a bunny!