Much-Belated Update

First and foremost, the lovely yet talented Judy Hoffman* has a revised edition of her book Keeping Cool In The Hot Seat. If you ever have to deal with crisis communications -- even if you merely piss off your wife -- you need this book. It shows you how to get your message across without shooting yourself (or your organization) in the foot. Hint: "no comment" doesn't cut it.

Next, the lovely yet talented Mrs 618 and I are getting settled in up here in Northern New England. The missus claimed this was even more like "cow country" than where we were before. True, there are fewer people, but here we can get DSL. I asked about DSL out in Michigan, and the phone company laughed.

Our Lab, Emily, and one cat, Joey, made the trip successfully. Bailey, the "feral" cat who adopted us, apparently understood what a 26-foot UHaul means. He took off two days before we left, and didn't re-appear until the day after we arrived here. Our former neighbors spotted him in their barn, where he has apparently established a residence in the hayloft. They're feeding him, and -- if we go out to visit Mom-in-law -- we may try to grab him then. he does like the lady of the house more than he likes me, so it might work. At least he's okay.

Look for pix of our new world headquarters, coming soon over most of this same blog.

Political commentary, This Date in Fire History, and other popular features will also be returning soon.

*UPDATE (to the update): BadTux pointed out that the link wasn't working. It should be now. Of course, if Blogger still doesn't like me, it's www.JudyHoffman.com.

Getting Settled In... Sorta Kinda

Well, we made it halfway across the country. The lovely yet talented Mrs 618 flew to Boston to visit a friend while mybrother and I completed the packing and loaded the truck, then drove to northern New England.

(Note to self: never, ever, ever decide to drive a 26-foot U-Haul towing a Honda Civic halfway across the country. Especially if the trip includes New York State.)

Noble brother decided it was more important for him toreturn to work than to help me unload the truck. So I did it. All by myself. Bad knees, bad hip, and all.

I thought I was gonna die.

On the other hand, up here in the boonies of northern New England, I can finally get DSL again. No nore dial-up, thank God.

More in a day or so, including pictures of the lovely yet spacious 618Rants World Headquarters.

BTW, a belated Happy Birfday to the lovely yet talented Mr Conservatard! He's now legal in all 50 states.

Quickie Update on Kwame Kilpatrick

Wayne County Prosecutor Kim Worthy announced today that her office had filed a 12- count criminal information (similar to an indictment) charging Mayor Kilpatrick and his former chief of staff Christine Beattie, with perjury, obstruction of justice, conspiracy to obstruct justice and misconduct in office. These are all felonies, with maximum sentences ranging from 5 to 15 years each. Several counts are against both, plus there were counts that applied only to one or the other.

The Detroit City Charter requires the mayor to resign if convicted of a felony.

They turned themselves in at the Sheriff's office this evening. Gawd, I wish Kwame had tried to skip town. I would have loved seeing him do the perp walk coming off a plane or something.

I must now return to panic-pack mode.

Little or No Posting Thru April 15

There will be little or no activity here at 618 Rants through April 15. The missus and I have both been sick as dogs (bronchitis really sucks), plus we are packing for a move halfway across the country.

In the interim, please visit some of the wonderful offerings in Ye Olde Blogrolle.

Mayoral Misdeeds, Part II

Just in from WDIV, Channel 4 in Detroit:

A Wayne County judge has decided to unseal some of the documents that will tell if lawyers for the city of Detroit and Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick had a secret agreement during the whistleblower trial to prevent text messages from surfacing.

Then, less than an hour later, the mayor's lawyer announced that she would appeal the decision, even after the judge urged the mayor's team not to.

This is getting to be more and more like a soap opera.

The only reason for trying to keep those documents secret is that releasing them would prove conclusively that Kwame Kilpatrick is a lying, corrupt politician:

• He (and his Chief of Staff) knowing, willfully lied under oath about their affair, exposing them to perjury charges, and/or
• He worked out this secret settlement to save his job, and/or
• There are other scandals reflected in the documents that could cause even more trouble (like, perhaps, confirmation of the stripper party at the mayor's mansion and/or his involvement in the stripper's murder)

Is there a politician anywhere who can keep his/her pants up and his/her hand out of the public cookie jar?!?

What is it with these morons? Republican, Democrat, independent, it doesn't seem to matter: as soon as someone achieves elective office, politicians immediately start pulling various fast ones.

About the only cure I can see is mandatory castration of politicians.

Blogroll Amnesty Day

This weekend marks "Blogroll Amnesty Day" (or B.A.D.), as decreed by skippy the bush kangaroo. It marks the infamous "Night of Long Knives" when Duncan "Atrios" Black did his own blogroll amnesty... by deleting every blog that wasn't as big as his. This wanton trimming of his roll, coupled with a previous post called "Why Your Blog Sucks," proved -- at least to me -- that Black had promoted himself out of the blogosphere (skippy coined the phrase), and into the MSM.

skippy (he refuses to use caps) and his cohorts celebrate this event by running their own Blogroll Amnesty. Unlike Black's, however, skippy's encourages the lower-ranked blogs to acknowledge and link to even lower-ranked blogs - the ones that generate the same traffic in a year or two that Black garners in an hour.

I hit the 1,000 visit mark on October 6, 2006, about 18 months after my first post on February 4, 2005.

In late 2006, several larger blogs -- skippy, Badtux, Cut to the Chase, Dark Wraith/Big Brass Blog, and some others -- apparently enjoyed what I was doing and blogrolled my humble offerings.

In the 16 months since that 1000th visit, I have racked up an additional 8,200 visitors. Much as I like to think of myself as a wonderful writer, with the breadth of the blogosphere, I would never have achieved even the modest level of success I have, without the help of those who blogrolled me.

There are probably millions of blogs with less traffic, but I have yet to find the ones I would like.Please, visit the folks I have blogrolled over on the left. And check out the other links, too; some of the safety and security-related sites are well worth it.

Journalists vs. Sportscasters

In my last post, I mentioned the difference between journalists and sportscasters. Sportscasters, by and large, should never, ever claim to be serious journalists. Not that they're not professionals, they're just not journalists. They don't have the right instincts. There are a few who have the proper journalistic reactions, however. Jim McKay of ABC Sports earned a spot in my personal Journalists Hall of Fame during the 1972 Munich Olympics.

For those who weren't paying attention 36 years ago, terrorists invaded the Olympic village and seized the building housing Israeli athletes. After some tense but fruitless negotiations, German authorities stormed the building. Eleven Israelis and five of the eight terrorists were killed.

McKay was covering the Olympics for ABC Sports, but when confronted with the news story of the decade, he handled it in a manner worthy of Edward R. Murrow or Walter Cronkite. McKay's reporting of this horrific attack went well beyond anything a sportscaster could have imagined. There were no scores to report, no useless stats, no color commentary or play-by-play, in the sense those terms are used by sportscasters. McKay, however, applied his training to a "hard news" story; in fact, his coverage of the situation was far better than some of the real journalists in Germany on other assignments (who had been rushed to Munich to report on the massacre).

A more recent example of how I view journalists and sportscasters occurred in 2005 at the studios of WDIV-TV, Channel 4 in Detroit. A local wacko, who had been haunting the area around the studios, managed to get into an outer lobby of the building. An alert receptionist locked the door to the inner lobby, trapping the gunman. Unfortunately, a former WDIV employee was also trapped, and was seriously injured.

As the situation was unfolding, Detroit police sealed the building... with the entire news staff inside, while everything was happening outside. WDIV anchor Steve Garagiola (son of baseball legend and Hall of Fame broadcaster Joe Garagiola) managed to sneak out of the building (I don't remember if he found an unguarded fire exit or climbed down a drainpipe). Just about every member of the news staff was involved in the coverage. Meanwhile, the Sports Department staff was inside... hiding under their desks.

Yeah, Steve started out in sports, as might be expected, given the family history (his brother, Joe, Jr, is the general manager of the Arizona Diamondbacks). As a sports reporter for WDIV, he was in Atlanta for the 1996 Olympics; after the Centennial Park bombing, he made a surprisingly smooth transition from sports to news.

You Can Take the Thug Out Of the Ghetto...

... but you can never get the ghetto out of the thug, apparently.

CORRECTION: My wife has informed it was Whoppi Goldberg who made the comment about dog-fighting being culturally acceptable. My apologies to Ms Winfrey (especially since I've gotten a few visits from her company, Harpo). I have corrected the body of the post.

Yesterday's New York Times has a story on the pit bulls formerly owned by disgraced, convicted and imprisoned former NFL superstar-turned-ass Michael Vick.

Vick, as you may recall, operated a dog-fighting business at his Bad Newz Kennels, located on the grounds of his estate in rural Virginia. 48 dogs were seized. One had to be euthanized due to viciousness; the others are scattered around the country at various dog rehab facilities.

Life at Best Friends is nothing like it was at Mr. Vick’s property on Moonlight Road in Smithfield, Va., where many of the dogs were found chained to buried car axles. They slept on concrete. Their water, if any, was kept in algae-covered bowls. Most were underfed. Some showed recent lacerations.

The dogs were bred and trained to be fighters, nothing more. Vick and his cronies abused these animals. They tortured them, And, when the dogs no longer provided income, they killed them. Vick's thugs didn't humanely euthanize the dogs, either: they were electrocuted, hanged, drowned, shot or slammed to the ground.

Many of the surviving dogs may live to be adopted, going to safe, loving homes. Others -- because of what Vick and his homies did to them -- will have to live out their days in sanctuaries, unadoptable for a variety of reasons.

This is what Vick did to his dogs:

• Georgia has no teeth. All 42 of them were pried from her mouth, most likely to make certain she could not harm male dogs during forced breeding.
• Little Red is a tiny rust-colored female whose teeth were filed, most likely because she was bait for the Bad Newz fighters. Handlers cannot explain why loud noises make her jumpy.
• Cherry, a black-and-white male, has what seems to be chemical burns on his back. His file at Best Friends says he loves car rides and having his backside rubbed. But like many of Mr. Vick’s pit bulls, he is petrified of new situations and new people.
• [Meryl] lunged at a veterinary technician, snapping at him three times. By court order, she must stay at Best Friends forever.

As the story was unfolding, the lovely-yet-talented Mrs 618 mentioned in passing that Whoopi Goldberg had tried to explain that in the culture in which Vick was raised, dog-fighting was acceptable, and that we should not judge him too harshly.

Simple response to that: in that same culture -- the deep South -- lynching blacks was also acceptable. Does this mean I can string Vick up in a tree and Whoopi will leap to my defense?

I didn't think so.

For too many people, the fact that Vick is (or was) a talented football player was more important than any other fact. To some, it is Vick's skin color that is paramount:

But when all is said, done and served, there is the very real possibility that three years will be lost to a celebrated African-American athlete in the prime of his professional life.

That quote, from another NYT article, expresses one of the most infuriating aspects of this case - the race card. Former NFL wide receiver Duke Ferguson expressed that sentiment.

Yes, Vick was a star, a gifted athlete. So was Mike Tyson. As was Darryl Strawberry.

But inside, all are just plain thugs, thugs who used their talent and their money to avoid paying the price for their "off-field" antics. Yet, some people claim Vick should receive special treatment -- i.e., a lighter sentence -- because of his talents. As I recall, that argument didn't work too well for Tyson or Strawberry, either.

Does Vick's superstar athlete status somehow magically exempt him from the constraints of civilized society? And if it does, what does that say about society?

Of course, there are also those who play the race card in reverse, seizing upon Vick and his ilk to "prove" that African-Americans are incapable of participating in society, solely because of race. These morons jump on every mis-step by a black to justify "keeping them in their place." That's equally wrong, obviously.

Pete Rose bet on sporting events. His was banned from baseball, permanently barred from the Hall of Fame, and generally shunned by "polite society."

And all he did was bet on games.

In sentencing Vick to 23 months in a Federal prison, the trial judge did depart -- upwards -- from the prosecutor's recommendation. But 23 months is not enough to punish Vick for his cruel, cowardly actions.

He should be banned from any connection with any kind of athletic endeavor (including coaching, product endorsements, or anything else). He should be barred from any sports arena, even as a spectator. No journalist or sportscaster (and yes, I do imply there is a difference, but that's for another post) should ever interview Vick about anything.

Despite what Vick and the rest of the criminals at Bad Newz tried to do, the dogs are doing reasonably well:

“These dogs have been beaten and starved and tortured, and they have every reason not to trust us,” Mr. Garcia said as Georgia crawled onto his lap, melted into him for an afternoon nap and began to snore. “But deep down, they love us and still want to be with us. It is amazing how resilient they are.”

Let Vick rot in hell.

When I was a kid, professional athletes were people we looked up to. Mickey Mantle, Phil Rizutto, Joe Namath, Whitey Ford, Babe Ruth, Willie Mays, Jack Nicklaus, Jackie Robinson, Joe DiMaggio, Rocky Marciano, Jack Dempsey, Mario Andretti... these men were role models for thousands of kids (and yes, they were all men, as women weren't really allowed into the ranks until after pro athletes stopped caring about others). They didn't lie, cheat or steal. They didn't do drugs (at least not to today's extent). They didn't charge for autographs (and they sure as hell didn't have 100,000 "signed" pictures printed in advance) - they never refused to sign whatever some little hand shoved in their faces, whether it was a ball, a picture or a trading card.

They also didn't have multi-million dollar contracts. During the heyday of the Yankees, in the 50's and 60's, the guys like DiMaggio and Mantle made $50,000, a fortune by their standards, but a pittance compared to today (even on a percentage basis).

Vick is not fit to share the same honored profession as these men.

Wesley Snipes: Dunce or Anti-Government Extremist?

Actor Wesley Snipes was convicted on three of six tax-evasion charges, but cleared on the the other three. More importantly -- at least to Snipes -- he was cleared also on felony fraud and conspiracy charges.

Snipes, who had struck me as a reasonably intelligent man,

...had become an unlikely public face for the tax denier movement, whose members maintain that Americans are not obligated to pay income taxes and that the government extracts taxes from its citizens illegally.

The tax denier movement is affiliated (to various degrees) with some other less-than-mainstream movements:

• "Sovereign Citizen" - a bunch of right-wing anarchist loons who believe virtually all government entities (especially Federal, and most especially the IRS and ATF) are illegitimate and illegal. They grew out of the Posse Comitatus crowd in the 1970's.
• "Christian Identity" - a pseudo-religious group claiming that (a) Aryan races (Germans, Scandanavians, and Anglo-Saxons) are the true descendents of the ancient Israelites, and (b) Jews are descendents of Satan. The Christian Identity crowd -- to which presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee has ties -- leaven their beliefs with healthy doses of homophobia and sexism. Christian Identity also has ties to Dominionism, which has many hidden representatives throughout the Cheney/bush regime. (Kos diarist Dogemperor is a survivor of this pernicious belief system).
• The Militia Movement - right-wing extremist paramilitary groups, many of which sprouted up after the FBI/Branch Davidian stand-off in Waco, Texas.
• "Redemptionists" - yet another collection of anti-government loonies, this time using bogus money orders, fraudulent liens, the Uniform Commercial Code, and other schemes to "protest" an "illegitmate" government. Recently, one Redemptionist claimed to be a Foreclosure Specialist; he used bogus money orders to "pay off" delinquent mortgages. He was convicted of issuing false government financial instruments. Redemptionists are an off-shoot of the Sovereign Citizen crowd.

Okay, Wesley Snipes is probably not one of the gun-toting good ole boys we've come to expect from the right-wing wacko brigade. For one thing, of course, he's black, and most of the righties would rather have Hillary Clinton in the White House than associate with a "n***er."

Snipes, who now has to pay $17 million in back taxes (plus interest and peanlties, of course), used some of the standard tax-denier arguments (most of which have been tried and found wanting many, many times):

• He did not file returns or pay taxes in 2002-2004 because he had been informed he was the target of a criminal investigation, and filing returns would have incriminated him; [the jury accepted this argument, as have a couple of other juries in recent years. It does make sense, of course]
• He was "not required" to pay taxes because he was legally a "nontaxpayer"; the laws did not apply to him because he was not a resident of the District of Columibia, was not a Federal employee, and was not engaged in any trade or business;
• He claimed that the IRS' own code meant income earned in this country wasn't taxable, and that the IRS itself was not a proper government agency;
• He claimed to be a "nonresident alien," and hence exempt from all tax laws.

The Smoking Gun has copies of Snipes' tax forms (for 1997; they still show no taxable income, although Snipes lists an adjusted gross income of $19,238,192). The file also contains copies of some of the boilerplate pseudo-legalistic twaddle the tax protesters try to peddle. Although it is hard to see in the TSG image, Snipes' 1040X had been altered to read, "Under no penalties of perjury, I declare..." [emphasis added].

Snipes' co-defendants -- Eddie Ray Kahn and Douglas Rosile -- were convicted on the felony charges. Kahn, a long-time hero in the tax denier movement, fled to Panama after being indicted. He was extradited but refused to attend the proceedings, claiming the court had no jurisdiction over him.

The website Quatloos!, operated by Financial & Tax Fraud Education Associates, Inc, has this to say about Eddie Kahn:

Eddie Kahn of “American Rights Litigators” represents the Hee-Haw contingent of the tax protestor movement. “Without any doubt, the most stupid of all the ‘professional’ tax protesters. Mr. Kahn's ‘arguments’ are so utterly juvenile and worthless as to barely worth the space I am using to type this sentence.”

Yup, just exactly the type of person I'd want for a tax advisor.

Rosile, the other idiot in this trek to Loontown, is a former accountant whose licenses to practice were yanked in at least two states. According to a 2002 New York Times article,

Mr. Rosile's accounting license has been revoked in Ohio and Florida, and he has been barred for life from practicing before the Securities and Exchange Commission, which found in 1995 that he had prepared false financial statements for a publicly traded company.

Rosile has been a thorn in the side of governmental regulators for years. In 1995, the Accountancy Board of Ohio discussed Rosile's competence as an accountant:

Mr. Rosile admitted that he was not familiar with either the professional accounting standards promulgated by the Financial Accounting Standards Board (FASB), or the specific requirements of the SEC.... No review was performed concerning the integrity of management prior to accepting the audit.... No direct confirmation of Standard's cash was ever made by Mr. Rosile. No work was performed concerning either accounts receivable or accounts payable.... No federal or state tax returns, payroll records, royalty records, or stock transfer records were reviewed by Mr. Rosile.... It was clear from the SEC transcript that Mr. Rosile does not understand the definition of certain accounting terms such as valuation account.... Mr. Rosile does not understand the definition of "going concern."...

One could ask how, if Rosile is as ignorant of Generally Accepted Accounting Practices as he appears, did he manage to pass the CPA exam in not one, but two, states?

Perhaps the courts should appoint a legal guardian for Mr Snipes. He sure doesn't seem to be doing too good a job taking care of himself.

Mayoral Misdeeds, Part I

A couple of weeks ago, I introduced you to Grace Saenz-Lopez, the alleged "dog-napping" mayor of Alice, Texas.

Saenz-Lopez was indicted on two felony counts of tampering with evidence and concealing evidence. Last week, the city commissioners voted unanimously for a resolution urging her to resign.

She resigned on Friday.

Now, if the Motor City Bad Boy Mayor Hisself, Kwame Kilpatrick, would just take the hint....

Oh, Please, God...

From an article in today's New York Times:

Across the street, Tom O’Hara, 62, was sullen. He was getting ready to open his bar, O’Hara’s, and was pondering his irrelevance, a Republican man pummeled by a Republican backlash.

“Did the Republicans do too many wrong things?” Mr. O’Hara said. “Oh yes, they did. I’m upset with George Bush. He gave away more money than the Democrats. I’m very concerned about immigration. Don’t tell me everyone should come in here and pick my fruits.”

He said he did not know if he would even bother to vote. None of the candidates stir him. “They don’t have the fight,” he said. [Emphasis added]

Oh, dear God, please, please let all the rest of the Rethuglicans feel this depressed. The more the mouth-breathers stay home, the more likely it is the grown-ups will have a solid majority (and the balls to actually get something done).

Coupla Quickies

First, via officer.com, a story about a New York City police officer... who pimped out a 13-year-old runaway.

A 13-year-old runaway returned home with a horrific account of being forced into prostitution by the kind of person who should have instead come to her aid: a city detective.

A police officer pimping out a kid. This is truly disgusting.

The teenager thought she was being offered a job dancing at parties, according to prosecutors. She soon found herself a captive of Wayne Taylor and a woman who forced the teen to prostitute herself at parties, with the detective threatening to make her sell herself on the streets if she tried to escape, prosecutors said.

Not surprisingly, the cop and his female associate have pleaded not guilty. Assuming for the sake of argument that they are convicted, these two should be locked away from decent people forever.

Cops do not always get the best press, and, quite often, the coverage they get is ruchly deserved. Unlike a lot of bloggers, I do not immediately assume all cops are evil bastards, but I also realize that there will always be some cops who are corrupt, criminal losers. And if a single police department has over 30,000 sworn officers, as New York City does, there will certainly be a good number of thugs with badges.

* * * * *

Second, and on a much more pleasant note, this piece from Firehouse Magazine, about an off-duty volunteer firefighter who saved a man from a burning car. The story started off great, got ugly, and worked out properly... but only after a lawsuit.

Keith Leuci - formerly of Hamilton Township and now living in Tennessee - was driving home with his family Aug. 20, 2004, when he saw a burning car stopped on the Black Horse Pike. Leuci told his wife to pull over, raced to the car, pried the door open and pulled James Barnes, then 26 and of Pleasantville, to safety. Barnes' cousin was killed in the accident.

This is where it gets disgusting. Here's a man who risked his own life to save another. Bear in mind, he ran up to a burning car, and pulled the victim out before he burned to death. In saving the driver's life, he himself was seriously injured.

Leuci, then a member of the Cologne Fire Company, was injured in the rescue, and Hamilton Township denied his claim for workers'-compensation benefits. He then applied through the Cologne Volunteer Fire Company. The fire company also denied his claim, saying he was not on duty, and Egg Harbor Township did not request mutual aid from Hamilton Township, meaning he was not officially on duty at the site of the accident.

Give me a break. "He was not on duty"? Since when are cops, firefighters, or EMS personnel not on duty?

Leuci received a valor award from the Atlantic County Firefighters Association and a medal from the Carnegie Hero Fund for his role in the rescue. But his injuries forced him to give up his remodeling business, and his family moved to Tennessee because they could no longer afford to live in New Jersey.

Okay, it seems most people agree Leuci was, is, and will remain a hero. A bona fide hero.

The Cologne Fire Company and its insurer "took the position that instead of rescuing the person who was in the car, he should have gotten approval from the chief or somebody," said [Leuci's attorney Christopher] Day, who also represents The Press of Atlantic City. "There was about a 30- to 60-second window to save the individual, so his choice was to rescue the person or let him die." [Emphasis added]

"Should have gotten approval"?!? Oh. My. God.

"It's totally amazing we need a court to tell them the right thing to do," Day said. "I hope their family is never trapped in a vehicle when they need help."

Amen, brother.

Fortunately, New Jersey worker's compensation Judge Cosmo Giovinazzi III ruled in Leuci's favor.

Day said an appeal is unlikely to succeed, as Giovinazzi is one of the most respected judges in the state.

"To the best of my knowledge, he's never been overturned," Day said. "So I feel pretty confident his decision will stand."

One thing to remember is that Leuci was a volunteer firefighter; he did not get paid for his efforts. In fact, he probably had to pay out of his own pocket for the privilege of being a fire fighter. Most volunteer companies have annual dues, plus the troops generally have to pay for much of their own training (which is usually attended on their own unpaid time); some departments even make members pay for their turn-out gear.

Towns try this kind of sleazy cop-out, and then they wonder why they have such a hard time attracting and retaining volunteers. Of course, political sleaze is not the only reason volunteerism is down; many people cannot afford to donate unpaid time to their communities when they're trying desperately to keep a roof over their family's heads.

Meanwhile, Day said Leuci's move out of state was New Jersey's loss and Tennessee's gain.

"We have one less person who would do (a rescue like) this in New Jersey," Day said.

Day is right. If you're going to wind up trapped in a burning car, pray you're in Tennessee, and that Keith Leuci is driving by.

Update on Kwame Kilpatrick

I just watched a speech by embattled Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. Kilpatrick, if you're new to these precincts, has had what could charitably be described as a "speckled" career as mayor. There have been allegations of strippers and wild parties at the mayor's official residence, charges that he attempted to have a virtually bankrupt city pay for a Lincoln Navigator for his wife, and the latest allegations: that he committed perjury in an effort to conceal an extra-marital affair (and forced the city into a $9 million dollar settlement in a whistle-blower trial in the process).

Kilaptrick just appeared on WDIV-TV, Channel 4, the Detroit NBC affiliate. He spoke, not surprisingly, from his church.

As is the case with every other politician caught with his hand in the cookie jar, or his pants down (or both), he took the expected route: "I have sinned, I have found sweet baby Jeebus, I have repented, I must be forgiven, you must forget this thing ever happened."

Listening to the speech, Kilpatrick kept referring to the incidents of "the past week"... in other words, since the story broke that he may have committed perjury. Not a single comment about the affair, not a single comment about his alleged perjury, not a single comment about his ripping the city for 9 mil to cover his infidelity (although to be fair, he did mention that there were legal ramifications he couldn't discuss at present, namely his desperate attempts to evade indictment). In other words, he was apologizing for getting caught, not for boffing his Chief of Staff, not for ripping off the city to conceal the fact he has the morals of an alley cat, not for being a sleazy, rotten person. He only apologized for getting caught.

His wife, Carlita, who was in the church with him, stood by her man, although she looked as if she was ready to braid his testicles into those plastic key chains we made in summer camp.

I can sympathize with the mayor for having his personal peccadilloes spread across the front page, but my sympathy is tempered by the fact that every politician should know that he, she or (in dubya's case) it, does not have the same expectation of privacy as we ordinary mortals. One of the drawbacks to public service is that your every move will be (and should be) under a microscope, especially if those moves adversely affect the public you have theoretically sworn to serve. If you're going to enjoy the perks of public life (like having a posse made up of sworn law enforcement officers), you also have to accept the drawbacks.

Kilpatrick made it abundantly clear that he was not going to resign as mayor of Detroit. Personally, I think he should resign. He shamed his city, and made it a laughing stock. And it's not as if Detroit didn't have all sorts of problems already. His former chief of staff, Beatty, did the honorable thing; Kwame should do the same. He has forfeited any trust the citizens of Detroit may have had. The city needs to move on, and the best way to do that is for Kwame to go away.

The city of Detroit is in a crisis. While a crisis has been described as "danger + opportunity," there is very little opportunity in this situation. Kwame put off the speech for a week after the story broke, and -- as any crisis manager could tell you -- a delay that long allows the "other side" to frame the story any way they want. In this case, the media framed the story as yet another moral lapse by the mayor. In delaying as long as he did, Kilpatrick was forced into even more of a defensive posture than he might have been in earlier.

Of course, having text messages pop up that conclusively prove you had an affair after you and your paramour testified, under oath, that you hadn't, is not exactly the easiest thing to deal with. But Kilpatrick's usual ham-handed handling of this scandal allowed it to balloon into even more of a disaster. This is the kind of situation that has almost no chance of positive spin.

Wayne County prosecutor Kym Worthy is investigating this case. Worthy must acknowledge the fact that her constituency extends across the entire county, and while the citizens of Detroit may shrug this off as "a man being a man," her constituency may not be so forgiving. Even though people outside of Detroit or even Wayne County may not care about the mayor's indiscretions, they are painfully aware of the political and social ramifications. The state of Michigan is already suffering from what has been described as a "one-state recession;" a situation like this is not going to attract new business, industry, or investment to Detroit, or even the state as a whole. A reputation of corruption in local officials can taint the reputation of an entire state; just ask anyone who lived in New Jersey during the 60's and 70's.

Furthermore, Kilpatrick's law license should be suspended immediately, pending final disposition of the case by Wayne County or state officials. Kilpatrick has certainly exhibited conduct of an immoral nature; such conduct is grounds for disbarment.

Leaving aside, for the moment, the personal ramifications for the Kilpatricks, allegations of sexual impropriety are a death knell for any politician's future prospects. Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Bill Clinton and others all learned this the hard way. Kilpatrick apparently thought it couldn't happen to him.

It can happen, and it did happen.

TSA Strikes Out. Again.

Good Godamighty, this is getting really discouraging, considering how much we're paying for TSA to "protect" us.

TSA conducted yet another of its tests of its airport screeners. You know, the folks who are supposed to prevent bombs and guns from getting on board American airliners.

And, once again, TSA screeners have failed the test.

CNN asked if it could send a camera crew to tape one of the tests, and TSA agreed. Unfortunately, the CNN crew taped a test at Tampa International Airport.

The CNN report detailed how a covert officer with a metal knee beat security by claiming a slender mock explosive strapped around his waist was a back brace. Nice to know the screeners will believe us when we say a bomb is a back brace. Now if we could just get them to believe a bottle of Pert really is shampoo.

Of course, this isn't the first time TSA screeners have dropped the ball on finding mock explosives. See my previous post on TSA for more details.

The CNN report quotes a TSA spokesdrone as pointing out that:

Six years ago, the administration focused intently on handguns. As a result, screeners became more adept at ferreting them out before they made it on board....

This explains how a guy was able to get on a plane last week with a gun.

Guns? Okay.

Bombs? No problem.

A bottle of Poland Springs? Big problem. BIG problem.

Does it seem like I'm ragging on TSA too much? If it does, that is because TSA -- and it's parent super-agency, the Department of Homeland Security -- are violating one of the main tenets of the security profession. They are too busy trying to protect us from the last attack, and not worrying their beautiful minds about the next one.

TSA and DHS have their heads in the sand. As a New York Times writer pointed out a couple of weeks ago, the primary reason the 9-11 hijackings succeeded was not that the terrorists were able to smuggle box cutters aboard the aircraft; the reason they succeeded was that they broke the existing paradigm of hijackings, that the craft would be diverted to another destination. By being willing to sacrifice themselves (and the passengers, crews, and planes), the terrorists brought a new paradigm into play. And it is a paradigm the TSA cannot comprehend.

It is impossible to prevent weapons on planes, as TSA has demonstrated time after time. No matter how much they check our shoes, pour out our shampoo, or grope our pregnant wives' breasts, they can never keep all potentially dangerous weapons off the planes. It just cannot be done.

In years past, a takeover meant hostage negotiations and standoffs; crews were trained in the concept of “passive resistance.” All of that changed forever the instant American Airlines Flight 11 collided with the north tower. What weapons the 19 men possessed mattered little; the success of their plan relied fundamentally on the element of surprise. And in this respect, their scheme was all but guaranteed not to fail.

For several reasons — particularly the awareness of passengers and crew — just the opposite is true today. Any hijacker would face a planeload of angry and frightened people ready to fight back. Say what you want of terrorists, they cannot afford to waste time and resources on schemes with a high probability of failure. And thus the September 11th template is all but useless to potential hijackers.

I said it then, and I'll say it now: this is the template to which DHS and TSA fanatically adhere.

Blackwater Back in the News

Blackwater Security, the mercenary thugs who enjoy shooting helpless Iraqis, is suing its former lawyers for malpractice. Back when the four Blackwater thugs were killed and hung on that Iraqi bridge, the survivors sued Blackwater for failing to proetct its employees. The suit was originally filed in state court, but Blackwater wanted the case moved to the Federal courts, where bush's appointees could be counted on to let Blackwater slide. Blackwater's original lawyers failed in their mission, and the suit proceeded in the North Carolina state courts.

The lawyers who failed so miserably were from the prestigious Wiley Rein firm included Fred Fielding, now White House counsel; Barbara Van Gelder, now an attorney with Morgan, Lewis & Bockius; Scott McCaleb, who is a partner with Wiley Rein; and Margaret Ryan, who is now a judge for the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Armed Forces.

Blackwater subsequently tried to have the case forced into arbitration, claiming the slain guards' contracts demanded it. Of course, the reason the arbitration clause is in the contract is not to protect the employees; it's there to protect the company. An arbitrator is unlikely to be swayed by romantic notions of "justice", "truth", and "fairness," focusing instead on who's paying the bills.

Blackwater also has another novel claim:

Blackwater, which is under investigation by the Justice Department for its involvement in a September shooting that left at least 17 Iraqis dead, contends that its contracted employees are de facto federal officers under the law.

Now there's a charming thought: Blackwater thugs as Federal officers. With the same immunity from prosecution that real Feds enjoy.

Pharmaceutical Executives Face Reality

The former COO (Chief Operating Officer) of drug company InterMune may be in some serious trouble. InterMune got jammed up for illegal off-label marketing of their osteoporosis drug Actimune, claiming it also worked against a fatal and incurable lung disease. The company signed a "deferred prosecution agreement" with the Department of Justice; the company and executives thought that would be the end of the matter (as it generally would be, with bush's Department of "Justice" and the administration's love for Big Pharma).

Scott Harkonen thought he was home free.

But the investigation was still proceeding.

When Harkonen realized he was probably going to face criminal charges, he crapped.

Judith Waltz, a lawyer who represents drug companies, had this to say:

"The government may be trying to make an example," Waltz said. "That scares the hell out of everybody once they start talking about individuals."

Yes, I can imagine it does. God forbid that in george bush's Murka, any big bidniss zecative should be held responsible for anything he says or does, no matter how egregious. Business executives, after all, are the ones who contribute to the Rethuglicans; hence, they expect protection from fair retribution for their illegal acts.

Oh, Those Wacky Brits!

What'll they think of next?

Tasha Maltby, a 19-year-old British Goth, says she is the "pet" of her boyfriend Dani Graves. Graves, showing his devotion to his "pet' walks her on a leash, complete with dog collar.

This was all fine and dandy, until they got on a bus. The driver objected to her attire and to the chain, and threw them off the bus, saying, "We don't let freaks and dogs like you on."

As Maltby put it:

"I am a pet," she told the Daily Mail. "I generally act animal-like and I lead a really easy life. I don't cook or clean and I don't go anywhere without Dani. It might seem strange but it makes us both happy. It's my culture and my choice. It isn't hurting anyone."

Yup, them Brits are some wacky folks.

I can imagine Dani's Pet Blogging posts........

They Took a Lesson from DHS

The fine folks at the Virginia Alcoholic Beverage Control Department (or ABCD) has apparently taken a valuable lesson from the fine folks at the Department of Homeland Security: instead of doing something useful, let's do something horrendously stupid, something that will have no effect on the health and safety of our citizens.

The Commonwealth of Virginia, in its infinite wisdom, has sicced the ABCD onto establishments that serve real sangria. Yup, mixing brandy, triple sec, and wine will mean the terrists have won.

Instead of cracking down on the drunk Virginia assholes driving up and down the roads, let's concentrate on the yuppies in the fancy restaurants.

More Mayoral Frivolities...

A few days ago, I wrote about Grace Saenz-Lopez, the mayor of Alice, TX, who has managed to jam herself up with allegations that she and her twin sister stole a dog.

Now we learn, via the Detroit Free Press (the "good" freepers) that Detroit's mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is once again in trouble. Kilpatrick has been in trouble more or less since he took office, what with allegations of strippers at a party at the Manoogian Mansion (the mayor's official residence), claims he tried to get the police department of a bankrupt city to pay for a Lincoln Navigator for his wife, and a whole slew of other complaints. Last summer, two former cops (one a former deputy chief) sued the city under a whistleblower statute, claiming they had been fired for participating in an internal affairs investigation that might have revealed the mayor was having an affair with his chief of staff. Kilpatrick and chief of staff Christine Beatty denied, under oath, that they were having an affair. The Free Press managed to get transcripts and images of text messages sent back and forth on city-paid Sky pagers, that indicate the two were, in fact, making the two-backed beast.

Kilpatrick was supposed to be attending a mayor's conference in Washington, DC, when the story broke; it turns out, however, he was at a home his family had just purchased in Florida. As one local blogger put it, "he was, not surprisingly, unavailable."

Local DA Kym Worthy held a press conference, promising her office would look into these allegations. The effect was diminished, however, by Worthy's obvious disgust at being "bothered" by this whole thing. State Attorney General Cox is staying out of this for the time being, pending developments in Detroit. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for either of these folks to act.

Kilaptrick, echoing every other politician who gets caught with his pants down, is begging the press to "respect his family's privacy" and claiming that this mess is just a "personal matter." Unfortunately, that doesn't wash. Kilpatrick has been a slime since his first days in politics, and using city resources -- especially the resources of a city in as bad a shape as Detroit -- takes this out of the realm of family matters.

If you are the mayor of a major American city, you should understand going in that you are going to be living in a fishbowl. Politicians, because of their high public profile, have no privacy. Don't believe me? Ask Rudy, the Clenis, Larry Craig, Mark Foley, and God knows how many others.

And speaking of Foley, Kilpatrick should have learned from Foley's shenanigans - don't email, text, or IM anything you wouldn't want to see on the front page.

Lying under oath, my friends, is called perjury. It is a felony in every jurisdiction I'm aware of. A conviction for perjury generally involves prison time, and is grounds for losing any professional licenses a person may hold (ranging from EMT to dentist to attorney). Kilpatrick, as an attorney and member of the bar, should be disbarred immediately; by committing perjury -- especially in an effort to conceal his personal peccadilloes -- has forfeited any right to a position of public trust. Beatty, who is a law student, should be expelled and prohibited from holding any public trust position.

What's Wrong With THIS Picture?

From WDIV-TV (Channel 4, Detroit):

A 15-year-old Detroit girl was killed and another critically wounded in a drive-by shooting early Monday morning on Detroit's northwest side.

According to police, three girls, all 15, had flagged down a car occupied by a 34-year-old man and a 16-year-old youth at around 4:30 a.m....

Okay, maybe I'm old-fashioned, but what the hell were three 15-year-old girls doing, going to the store at 4:30 AM?!? That's four-frickin'-thirty in the frickin' MORNING.

Yes, kids may be maturing much earlier these days, but this is Just. Plain. Wrong.